- Primally wimally woo.
- What? What now?
- Nothin’. Just looking at the back of your paper. What’s a Sarko?
- Eh, Nicolas Sarkozy is the new president of France. Now go away - I’m reading the front of my paper. If you’d stop talking just for the sake of making noise, I’d get to read the rest of it.
- Oh, grumpy woompy woo today aren’t we. You’d no problem putting down your paper to talk to her earlier on.
- Did it ever cross your mind she might have something to say that’s worth hearing?
- Yeah, right. What would she have to talk about? All she sees is this place day in day out. And anyway, her English is shite.
- Her English is improving rapidly. Her French is good. Her Russian excellent. Best of all, her German is fluent, so if we’re having difficulty we switch to that. She has a masters in economics and European trade and has been accepted for a Ph.D. The money she’ll make here will help a lot with that. She is a qualified showjumping instructor and competed at international level. She makes great pottery and takes brilliant photographs. She is a self-taught web designer. She has read books I struggled with. She has travelled more than I have. You, on the other hand, are a full-time shop assistant and part-time bar worker and have never done anything else. You look at the pictures in Hello magazine and go to the Canaries once a year. No contest!
- It’s just because she’s pretty.
- Oh, yee gods, give me patience! This is déjà moo.*
- It’s just because you fancy her. You’re trying to get into her knickers.
- Hardly. I’m nearly old enough to be her father.
- She’s not that hot anyway. I’ve got bigger boobs.
- True. And a bigger ego. Pity your IQ doesn’t pass the double-A mark.
- Men! Yee’re all the same. Yez treat women like meat. Tits and arse is all yee think about.
- Well what I’m thinking about right now, is that you should get your tits off the counter, your arse in gear, go do some work and let me finish my paper before it turns into yesterday’s.
* The feeling you’ve heard this bullshite before.
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Next time you finish your pint, poo in the glass, then give her the gift of Sneezy. That should sicken her into silence.
If you actually said that, fair fucks to you.
I must absorb some of those putdowns for future reference.
No Kav, never. This one (of The Two) deems it below her to fill the glass-washer, never mind collect glasses, now that there are a couple of foreign lackeys to do it. There would be a risk of friendly fire.
I did, Dario. Every bit. (Not on the same occasion mind - strung together for blogging’s sake).
Both - I am just afraid we are getting to the stage where we see the equivalent of signs from London years ago. But this time they will read “No pets, no blacks, no east Europeans”. Dario, you see it often I’m sure. Kav, you will the next time you’re home. The talk in the pub that day was about the house-fire in the village: “Nothing to panic about. There was [sic] just Polish lads living there”.
Ah, so we’re back to the ‘good old days’ of comedy headlines in papers running along the theme of
‘Black Man Falls Down Well’.
So time is cyclic.
“No pets, no blacks, no east Europeans” - no problem for me, I’m a Central European! And a (Czech) Republican, too.
“Poo in the glass?” Good God and Jesus, Kav!!
“Tits and arse is all yee think about.”
What percentage of your attraction to a woman would you say was down to tits and arse, and what percentage personality? I’m not having a go - I don’t happen to believe all men are yahoos completely in thrall to their willies. I’m just interested is all. I think all we women want to know that.
Dario - Yet another recycling initiative.
A Chainteoir - You can’t get much more central than the Czech Republic. Unfortunately most Paddys can’t seem to draw a distinction between Estonia, Poland, Czech etc. and just lump the whole lot together.
Sam - Little Miss Manuel will be having a good chat with Kav very soon.
Now, your other topic is interesting. I doubt if you’ll get much response seeing as it’s buried in this post.
The main vein does have a lot to answer for. Gets us in terrible trouble, indeed.
Sam - I have enough time that I can look back on, as objectively as I’m ever going to get.
T&A? Close to 0% Even when you talk physical attraction there is an overall package, and the face plays a significant role. But even after all that attraction, there’s nothing to be interested in if the personality isn’t there or something to attract.
And for good measure I’ve noticed that a personality can dictate how good-looking a person is. Speaking as an artist who stares at people (we’re not talking stalking, for now) I used to get into arguments with friends when I would proffer that every single face is beautiful IF looked at long enough. One of my friends would never accept this, his standard reply being, what - even Peter Beardsley?