I’m thinking of calling in the World Health Organisation. There has been an outbreak of Builder’s Bum (Arsenia constructoris) at my place. There are more diggers and dumpers than you could shake a jumbo breakfast roll at. I suppose I shouldn’t complain - it took 6 years to get planning permission so I should be glad to see them making a start. And it reminded me of the time my neighbour was getting an extension built:
Katie was enthralled with the builders in their bright yellow jackets and shiny hard hats. She laughed at the way the big teleporter looked like the giraffe in her book. The cement, lengths of timber and freshly turned earth tickled her senses with new smells.
Being such a lovable little child, the builders took her under their wing and made her site-mascot. They kitted her out in a mini hi-viz jacket and hat. She was given little jobs to do and revelled in the praise she got in return.
That evening she bounded through the back door eager to tell her mum all about her day.
So you were working very hard, were you, honey, asked her mum.
Oh yes, mummy, very hard. I had to fetch the hammer for the carpenter. It was heavy, but I managed.
Well done, Katie. And did you get paid for all this hard work?
Yes mummy. Pat - he’s the boss - he gave me €2. John tried to give me €2 too, but I explained Pat had already paid me.
Well done, honey. That was very honest. Good girl. I’m proud of you. So will you be working tomorrow?
Well that depends, mummy. If that wanker over at Roadstone gets his finger out and delivers the right fucking blocks this time, we will. If he makes a bollix of it again, then we’ll be sitting on our arses all day pulling our plumbs.
If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.
Addictions Advertising Back to school Banks Blogs Builders Characters Charity Commentary Crappenings Driving Economy Education Environment Estate Agents FAQ Farming Friends Fun Gaeilge Gardaí Guest blaggards Health HSE Immigration Internet Irish identity Jokes Kids Kildare Law Life Literacy Local Media Mothers Movies Neighbours Occasions Painting Pet Hates Pets Photgraphs Photos Plonkers Poetry Polish Politicians Politics Pubs Pub talk Racing Radio Relatives Religion Science Shopping Snippets Spam Sport Tech stuff Time Transportation Travel Travellers TV Uncategorized Weather Wildlife Women Work
You crack me up, hilarious.
You tell them well sir. I got shafted for doing one like that recently.
That girl learns fast!
Arf.
There I was reading this nice little story about a little girl helping the builders …. then I got to the end and laughed ’til I cried! Great blog, by the way.
Disrupting gender norms! Fabulous.
Hee hee. Excellent.
Ha, you funny monkey.
Flirty - My purpose in life is to crack. I do it regularly.
Kav - Which one? I don’t remember you being shafted.
Grannymar - At that age they really are sponges.
FMC - Arf, indeeed.
Kit - The URL you entered for your blog is incorrect. What should it be?
Medbh - Disrupting gender norms, my womb! Just a good joke. Don’t go getting all intelligent and stuff on this blog.
Caro & Derfen - Glad to please/sneeze.
Self - Bit of a delurking there. That’s grand.
Little Mikey, aged seven, went working with the builders for the day and they gave him a yellow jacket.
When he came home, his mother said, “Well, Mikey, what did you learn today?”
“I learned to hang a door”
“Wonderful” said his mother. “Anything else?”
“I learned to fit a kitchen.”
“Even better,” said his mother. “Will you be able to build a garden wall for us?”
“No problem,” said Mikey, “so long as those cunts from Roadstone can deliver the blocks on time.”
very funny, sugar! been reading your comments on other sites, figured i needed to come visit..
Bock - Seems we were both burning the midnight oil last night. That’s our carbon footprints shot.
Savannah - You’re welcome any time. The kettle’s always on the boil.
Ah no, wasn’t exactly shafted, but I just put a spin on an old joke and got a few friendly heckles for it. Yours was told much better, is what I meant.
Kav - I knew what you meant, just couldn’t remember it happening. I can’t put one over on likes of Bock, Eolaí, yourself etc., but over 80% of repeat hits I get are from the US, UK, Oz and NZ, so I get away with reworking old lines a lot more than I should. Embarrassing at times, but shur if folks are happy.
Strangely, the trilingual joke from a while back got a never heard that before reaction, but I heard it in school 25 years ago.
Ha! I’d never heard that one before, Sneezers. That’s hilarious.
I’m sure you could put one over on me Primal; I’m not a real welder, you know?