A Shopping Unlist
By Primal Sneeze ~ September 21st, 2007. Filed under: Shopping.
Lidl and Aldi are great. There, I said it. They are the Ryanairs of supermarkets but without the abusive staff and hidden charges. You’ll even find them close to town centres not a two hour train journey away.
I began visiting Lidl a couple of years back for a very valid reason: I was told to. Back then they were doing the haul out a pallet of stuff, drop it on the floor and let the scavengers pick it to the boards thing. A lot of the food was gank then too. Russian tinned meats and Russian dog food – if it weren’t for the pictures on them you couldn’t tell the difference.
But things have changed. The displays are neatly stacked out. They now stock a lot of Irish and UK made produce – meaning you can read the labels. Fluency in 17 languages is no longer a prerequisite. The staff are friendly, not that they weren’t before. If something’s shite, return it, no problem, sir, here’s your 23c refund. Imagine telling Ryanair that flight was shite, take me back home. It, and you, wouldn’t fly.
Besides the prices, what I like most about Lidl is the big wide aisles. Fifteen fat brides could reach the alter simultaneously. Big aisles are essential if you suffer from trolley rage like me. Even if the fifteen fat brides dumped their trolleys and buggered off for a quickie with the bestmen, I would still have room to navigate my way around the store.
These days, certain products draw me back to Lidl again and again. The German beers and the cooked meats. Fairtrade coffee and chocolate. They do a great value loo roll branded Aloe Vera that is just class. Aloe Vera as in the plant not Coronation Street. Scented, soft and strong, yet half the price of the stuff either the puppy or the bear make.
For goods like that Lidl can’t be beaten. But a word of caution: I also keep an unlist – what not to buy.
Socks. Don’t buy them. Your toes will go straight through the first time you throw a kick at the cat.
Jocks. Never again. I got a four pack for €3 and can’t wear them. A bit like the village of Sallins in my parents’ day – no ballroom. And they tend to drift into the middle and get eaten by your arse. Very uncomfortable.
Cornflakes. Yeuch! It took me a month to get through a 500g pack of tiny pieces of cardboard. No, it wasn’t a jigsaw I bought.
Dog food. Even the flies turned up their tentacles at it.
Toothpaste. Tastes like paste. What kind, I don’t know.
Bread. Not all. Some. Stayed fresh for ages. Too long, in fact. Obviously so packed with preservatives there wasn’t room for flour.
What do you like/dislike from the Lidl range? Chat away among yourselves, I have to go do the shopping.
Baked beans. It appears to be the only supermarket in Italy that stocks them (they’re not particularly nice, too sugary but hey every now and again a girl needs a bit of comfort food).
Kidney beans, because they cost one-fifth the price of the only brand available everywhere else. The Italian goes nuts for their frozen buffalo wings too.
Pyrex dishes.
It, and you, wouldn’t fly
heh heh heh
Roflol! I love the unlist.
Don’t tell the gardners! I use the large containers of bleach to clean my patio. It comes up like new every time and I have no worry of slipping in the winter months.
They have half covered Dark Chocolate biscuits with a wafer back. Yummy1 Is it elevenses time yet?
Chocolate.
Cooked meats.
Cheese.
Fruit juice.
But now that the ordinary supermarkets stock Central European foodstuffs, ….
They sell terrific things like high quality parma ham and chorizo suasage for a pittance compared to Superquinn/tesco…jesus don’t tell them..they’ll put the prices up!.
Juice..lovely cloudy apple juice in a glass bottle.
Beer…cheap but tastes tons better than that chemichal laden Heineken crap.
sorry about the knickers Primal.
Primal at least you learned your lesson for 3 euro. Last time home I bought some jocks from Marks and etc. I always but by socks and jocks back in Ireland because the stuff here is made for arab men and not real Irish big balled men.
Anwya paid I think 25 euro for three. Got back here wore them to work and spent the trying not to move as every time i did My balls felt like they were in a vice grips. No room for one marble never mind balls
What? Irish men have bigger balls than their arab counterparts? Is there some kind of global league table?
But back to Primal. My “unlist” would include all the delicious biscuity cakey sweetie stuff they have in Aldi on that first aisle right inside the door. Becoming a lardarse on the cheap does not negate the fact that I’m becoming a lardarse (my Aldi mantra).
I would have thought gents would be all wise to the importance of boxer shorts in terms of testicular health??
Unlist @ Lidl hmmm the Brie, beans, showergels, shampoos etc, instant coffee, stationary, most of the ‘american’ foods they had on special last week.
Caro – It’s a pity the beans are so sweet (and a bit watery). I see an Italian market opening up for Batchelors.
Grannymar – The Polish lads coming to work with us in Germany used bring bottles of Spirytus (think poitín but with treble the alcohol content) as gifts for the boss. His missis used it for cleaning really bad grim – the original Cillit Bang.
Aonghus – The others do stock that stuff now, but charge you double.
ITJM – Oh yeah, the ham. Cloudy apple juice. Beers brewed strictly in accordance with the Reinheitsgebot. Now I’m getting my (Dunnes) knickers in a twist thinking about them.
Mac – I haven’t tried Marx and Sparx klax. Now I don’t have to. Thanks.
Rosie – Maybe OPEC really stands for Organisation of P enile E nlar gement Countries. (Had to break that up in case search engines get the wrong idea).
Maman P – Seems we’re all agreed on the beans. I tried the shampoo once. Never again. Even the best 1970’s porn stars couldn’t work up a lather with it.
Haven’t been there but I also suffer from trolley rage. It happens every week because the market is so poorly designed that you can barely squeeze two down an aisle.
I don’t think scented toilet paper is a good idea. I would never put scented stuff near my hoo ha.
Medbh – Tolley Rage is a woeful affliction. There should be counselling provided by the major stores.
I didn’t know the bum-fodder was scented until I after I’d bought it – I got it because it was softer and stronger than the puppy or bear stuff. I needed something soft after those fekin’ klax I tried – I had an arse like the Japanese flag after them.
Lidl’s tinned mackerel and tinned sardines in olive oil. Plus, their oatmeal, tastes like Ready Break but looks like real porridge, kids love it.
Tom – Yep, I’ve had some of those sardines. Very nice. Damn cheap too. And the tins are bigger than the John West ones. I’m not an oatmeal lover but I’ll take your word on it.
I have a Lidl’s near where I work but have never been in it! I’m going to rectify that oversight a.s.a.p. – but I will make sure I take your “unlist” with me. Don’t want to be buying the dearly beloved dodgy knickers!
Thank you so much! Both Primal and the commentors. Being here only for 2 months I still don’t know where I can shop / or shouldn’t shop for goodies like you all listed. I mean, I am finding out but it’s a slow process. I prefer to listen to advice from locals and learn faster with least number of nasty surprises and experiences (I throw kicks at Niall all the time, need socks that last.)
Lidl food is great. Staff are very friendly and all products are great value. While I was in Germany I shopped in another “discount” food shop called “Penny” and you might as well be in Lidl.
p.s. My german friends think Lidl is more expensive in Ireland then in Germany.
Mrs. Kitchen – Your dearly beloved would probably keep the dodgy knickers even if he couldn’t wear them … just in case his body changed shape overnight in 2021.
G – It’s fun finding out though? Even the mistakes can be a laugh. At least the learning will be a bit cheaper in Lidl.
Todger – Not all the food is great. (You don’t work for them, do you?) I tried the organic carrots recently and they tasted like, well nothing. Organic carrots should taste like carrots; snozberries like snozberries. These didn’t.
[...] site using a feedreader or email. Thanks for visiting – Damien.Loving this idea from Primal Sneeze. A shopping unlist for Aldi and Lidl. What not to buy there as well as what to buy there. Jocks. Never again. I got a [...]
I had an arse like the Japanese flag after them
Ha ha hahahahahahahahaha…
The cheeses are great, as are the sausages, bacon. The parma ham and chorzio are brill also.
I love the gadgets and have bought all sorts of sh*te and most I was happy with.
What I won’t buy is cleaning stuff, absolutely useless, but I do get bin bags, tinfoil, cling film etc.
I also buy doggie treats, they are really cheap and you get 20 in a pack, tesco and the rest sell the same things with five in a pack for nearly the same price.
Damien – Thanks for the link. You’re the reason my site’s been hammered today. Actually Annie Rhiannon’s to blame too. Pity I don’t host ads.
Caro – It was. Don’t laugh – it wasn’t funny. (Well maybe a bit).
Red Mum – Oh Cheeses the cheeses! Yes you’re right. And thanks for the tip [sic.] on rubbish bags – I hadn’t thought of them. What brand of doggie treats? I didn’t like the last ones I got – I threw them out to the dog.
Phew I am back, yes P it is much fun to explore and find places I’d like to go back to as well as places I’ll stay clear even if they are the last shop standing. Well, ok if there were floods and they sold water, that’d be a different story.
I love mayonnaise in Ireland. None of that sugary crap they have in Sydney. I always had to look for “original mayo” label then triple check the ingredient list. *looks guilty* and yes, I like mayo(nnaise), a bit.
G – There’s a Mayo & Garlic dip made by Galberts (Marx & Sparx sell it) that is just out of this world.
btw: Your blog is blocked to invited readers who have Google accounts. Why?
I love Lidl too. Funny enough, I never shopped in one until moving to the Middle of Nowhere. I buy nearly all my produce in Lidl. Other things I like from there:
Hochland Hills Sandwich Slices cheese
Cappuccinno flavoured Gellatini ice cream
The soft mozzerella
the big bags of fancy pasta made by Pastalsole
cheap kitchen roll
this one is really sad – but I love the coloured napkins. I got some last week with horses galloping into the sunset. Little stuff like that makes me inordinately happy.
Toby seems to like the Tripe-flavoured treats I picked up from there – but geez do they smell bad.
Oh I will check the mayo-garlic dip. I haven’t had them ever before coming to Ireland.
On the blog side of things, I have listened to the good advice you and few other seasoned bloggers with wisdom, which I don’t have much of I must add, parted with earlier in one of my posts. So now there is just one blog and I have a modest vision about it, in the sense of what I want to do with it. While I was fiddling with taking the blogs off-air and making changes I must have done something then because I didn’t mean to restrict it to google mail account owners only. I will check it out, thank you for letting me know!