When the great Christy Ring retired from the game of hurling he was asked by Jack Lynch if he’d like to take up golf to pass the time.
- Ah shur where would I be going playing golf, Jack? Shur I know nothing of the game.
- Ah ’tis easy, Christy. If a man can hit a sliotar he can hit a golf ball. I’ll show you the ropes and you’ll be flying in jig time.
So one sunny morning the pair ended up on a tee box overlooking the first hole, 400m away down in the valley.
- Right. What do I do now, Jack?
- Well, you see that bit of grass that’s cut as if like sheep had been at it? With the flag in the middle of it? Off down there in the distance? That’s called the green. The idea is to get the ball onto it in a few goes as you can.
Christy’s ball soared through the air and landed motionless smack in the middle of the green, a mere cat’s whisker from the pin. Not one to be put off, Jack Lynch, played four shots and his ball too ended up on the green.
- Your turn, Christy.
- So what do I do now, Jack?
- Well all you have to do now is hit it into that little hole. That’s the whole idea of the game.
- Well why in the name of sweet Jayzez didn’t you tell me that back up there?
* This yarn is dedicated to all those who, like me, hate the game of golf but see magic and wonder in the skilful game of hurling especially when played by the greats like Christy Ring.
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[...] Original post by Primal Sneeze [...]
Iontach!
An “I laughed out loud award” for this one.
Watching golf is the most boring pastime in the world, imo. Watching cricket is third on that list of most boring things to do.
I do however like to get on the mini version and hit the little ball to get it in the hole. I usually aim to get it in, in less than 10 shots… That’d be a good day for me.
That got LMAO award from me.
ahhh hurling. Can’t bate it with a big shtick. Actually…
Curling, cricket and golf, in that order for the induction of grimacing winky spasms, involuntary dribbling and almost complete crushing of the spirit. For complete crushing you need to watch the curling, cricket or golf with an enthusiast.
What are you talking about, curling is the best spectator sport… Pause…. NOT.
Aonghus - An old joke, but one of my favourites. (at the risk of sounding like a sean nós archivist) I heard it told first in Kilmurray in West Cork by a Seanchaí of sorts. It took him 15mins to tell it and we laughed for an hour. It’s best told in a Cork accent.
Gayé - What’s the second most boring?
JohnMc - Ya can’t bate it at all at all at all.
Sam - Golf enthusiast is somewhat of an oxymoron. I’m more a long-distance-spitting man myself. Only when there’s no strip-chess on, mind you.
Chess…
Watching either golf or snooker on the box puts me into a coma. But hurling is a mightly game altogether. So bloody fast. Although not THE fastest apparently, I lost money to a hairy Italian on that one. And I don’t like to lose money.
No, see me, I love the snooker on the telly. I used to stay up late and watch it with my granny. For a short time, in my single digits, I had a crush on Cliff Thorburn. And Cliff Richard as it happens. It must have been the rugged manliness of their names. Jimmy White was the greatest, though. Despite never winning a flippen thing.
FMC - I hate losing money to hairy Italians too. There’s nothing worse.
Sam - You were a real Cliff hanger back then, eh?
FMC, you must have lacked the cork cute hoorness necessary to couch the bet correctly.
How did the italian win?
I know a woman from the dog park who boasts of having a 24 hour curling channel on cable. People take it so seriously up here that I have to dig my nails into my hand to keep me from laughing.
Medbh - Now that’s just plain sad.
Aonghus, he stumped me with some kind of basque handball, much faster than hurling it seems. I mean fucking seriously. I was outraged. Drunk and outraged.
FMC - Was it Jai-Alai? Sounds like Paella, just not edible.
That’s the bloody one.
That’s reminded me of a joke - which is a good thing to be reminded of, given the options. But I’ll save it.
The only thing worse than golf is people talking about it. I will put my spoke in for Cricket though - I mean it has collision - a guy chucks a ball at a man holding a stick, and it has drunken spectators, and it had sledging before rugby stole the term. If golf had violence, drunks, and verbal abuse, then it might be watchable.