See the tree, how big it’s gone
By Primal Sneeze ~ November 8th, 2007. Filed under: Characters, Environment, Irish identity, Neighbours, Relatives.
A tale of two hedges continues.
They were cut, front and back, despite my protestations, a couple of weeks ago. They look so bare and pitiable, like Britney, it brings a tear to my eye.
What couldn’t be cut was two large tress. One is an ash and will look great, if a bit lonely, given time. Like Britney. The other was a hawthorn bush that lost the run of itself, got notions beyond its station, and grew into a tree. A big ugly, gnarly, ivy encrusted monster. Like an Ent, but without the smarts. And, unlike Ents, without the ability to move.
But it wasn’t bothering me much. Live and let live. It has roots in this place as I do.
All was well until Sunday when I had two unexpected visitors. Pat and Elaine are what are known in Ireland as mickey-relations. No blood ties, but are vaguely related to someone who is (probably vaguely) married to someone vaguely related to me. You know they way it is. Relations who are your nearest and dearest when they want something.
Elaine rang ahead to say she would be stopping by to see how the building was coming along. Ten minutes later Pat called to say he was in the area and ask if I needed bread or milk. That’s a very Irish thing – even if you are visiting the house of a celiac vegan you still offer to bring bread and milk.
Oh, that’s fine extension, lauded Pat. A right one, added his sister. Pity about that auld tree there. If it falls, it’ll hit the house. I agreed, but pointed out it would only clip a few slates and that I’d cut it down if I seen it about to topple.
Well I have a chainsaw in the jeep if you’d like to get rid of it now. Shur it’ll only take a few minutes. I’m not one to look a gift chainsaw in the mouth so I gave the go-ahead.
True to his word, Pat had the tree felled in minutes and we set about cutting it up into manageable blocks. That’s great, Pat. I’ll be able to get rid of them during the week. Well if you want, offered Elaine, I’ve a big boot on my car and I could take them away. They’d probably burn in my fire once they’ve rotted a bit. Okay, shur work away then.
My neighbour noticed the missing tree the next day. Pat and Elaine turned up out of the blue and took it, I explained. Would they not just take tea and biscuits? He went away chuckling to himself leaving me wondering who had done who the favour.
Ah, there’s something rotten in the county of Kildare. They’re in cahoots, the lot of them.
“But the North wind will blow and we shall have snow and what will poor robin do then, poor thing?” With baldy hedges and no tree to hide in he’s fucked.
In the winter my granny used to save the fat from the pan, mix it up with peanuts and hang it up in an onion sack in the garden “to put a layer on the wee mites.”
Wasn’t that fierce nice of them all the same, and very handy that they happened to have a chainsaw in the car? I carry one around all the time too, you never know when you’re going to run into a rogue hawthorn.
So was it the hawthorn or the ash you cut? Twould be a sin to cut a lovely ash. Isn’t it considered bad luck to cut a hawthorn, or is that a blackthorn? Now that I think of it I had a run of bad luck with my place in Kerry when after we cut down a row of blackthorns…
Sam – They’re from Tipperary. A long, long way from here to there. Thank the gods.
I have my robin feeding plan in place already (we had walnut-weather* today) but it’s nowhere as elaborate as granny’s.
Caro – From now on, I’m going nowhere (especially their houses) without a chainsaw. And a machete, and semtex.
John – I think the bad luck comes out of cutting lone tress of any kind. Anyway, I’m not bothered – it was a hawthorn, a lone tree, but they cut it, not I. Come to think of it, Elaine got a puncture on the way home. Perhaps that was a warning … or it could have been the briars I dropped under her wheels.
*Explanation needed? Don’t ask me.
People pay handsomely for wood for the fire, right?
That’s quite the “favor” they did for you, Primal.
These hedges again? I told you its good for them to get trimmed now and then, assuming the shock wasn’t too much for them they’ll be back, as for cutting doon a tree, you cont.
Medbh – This family never seem to pay for anything. Especially firewood.
Young Knudsen – The hedge is a never ending story. They are trimmed, and some sections I’m going to lay – that produces even better regrowth and overcomes the shock.
Hey I left the nice ash tree, didn’t I!!