Look, I don’t have anything worthy of a fully fledged post right at the minute so you’re stuck with a Snippet. And yeah, I know I can normally turn trivia into travesty, but I’m not up to it today. It’s wet and miserable out.
- The dog is particularly vociferous this morning. He’s running up and down, barking orders and guarding things. There’s something going on since the early hours over at the neighbour’s place. Building work or mass murder or something. I’m not going to check. It’s raining I told you. Maybe I should check. It’s not like him. He hates the rain and normally takes to his kennel, or huddles under the porch if the tom cat has commandeered it. Ah no, shur who’d be committing mass murder in weather like this. They’d have to be insane.
- I met up with the Butcher and the Barkeep briefly yesterday. Nice kids. Kiwis both. Doing their OE (overseas experience) bit and picked Ireland as their victim. She’s a sheep breeder and he’s a dairy farmer. That explains how she got a job cutting up meat but there’s not much milk served in Irish pubs. Now guess what. It was raining. And cold. They are both soaked and freezing in their T-shirts. How in the name of jayzez could you walk out and forget your coats on a day like this? We don’t have coats. We might need to buy some, you reckon? How the hell could anyone in their right mind come to Ireland and expect to spend 12 months here without a coat is beyond me.
- We had a couple in the local and watched the racing. A few lads arrived in after pheasant shooting. Any joy? asked the barman. Nope. We were out for hours and not a decent cock to be had. We rose a few but they weren’t worth bringing home. Bunch of young ones in here last night complaining about the same thing.
- I just finished a job for a customer and they want to know how many people are looking at their site. Hits or stats to you and me. Now we expected the readership to be pretty much IT illiterate and most pages carry foolproof instructions on where to click and what to do. In fact, one line that read hit C to Close had to be changed to hit the letter C on your keyboard to Close the window. I kid you not. Now here’s the real eye opener: Let’s say the site is called spoons.ie and is for a company that sells spoons. If you enter spoons into google.ie it appears on the first page. But the greatest number of visitors arriving already knew the domain name and yet still used Google to find it - they entered spoons.ie into Google instead of straight into the address bar. I am just amazed. I don’t know whether to cry or laugh.
Very funny Mr Sneeze.
The rain thing, the total miserable gray out, affects everything, but must inspire murdering and dog barking.
Did you ask the pharmacist out yet? If you don’t I’ll arrive at her door, naked and with Pizza.
Sniffle said: Did you ask the pharmacist out yet? If you don’t I’ll arrive at her door, naked and with Pizza.
So I suppose that’s pizza with or without peperoni?
You can buy it pre-sliced - much more convenient
“I don’t know whether to cry or laugh.”
I, my brother-in-law, and my sister’s best friend laughed ’til we cried when he told us one night that my Sis uses Google that way. She’s the best mom, God love her, just a little comp-stipated.
Hurrah! There you are!
And what about that pharmacist?
Mass Murder In The Rain could almost be a Smith’s song.
Funny snippets as always.
But we want to hear about the pharmacist! Ask the girl out for god’s sake!
What Caro said! And then what sam said. Come on, you can tell us.
Ah here the lot of yiz! With all this pharmacy talk it’s a wondered Akismet didn’t dump yee into the spam bucket.
There’s mass murders, freezing Kiwis and dismal standards of IT literacy going on, and all yee want to know about is if I’m lining up a bit of Christmas nookie.
Well if you must know, I didn’t ask her. I couldn’t. She beat me to it in a sneaky way. I didn’t know I had a date until an hour later.
Kelly D/Stephen - You’re the only sensible ones here.
Ooooooooooooooooh!
How was it? I knew she was keen, I knew it!
Let me rephrase that, Sam - I didn’t know I had a date planned until an hour later. It went like this …
She helped me carry the stuff to my car - ‘cos of the ribaldry and all, I can’t lift much.
Passing by Tesco, being the silver-tongued devil that I am, I said jayzez, do ya hear that shite? Them wankers in Tesco are playing Christmas crap already.
Yeah, Christmas. I hate it. Mad busy time for us, was the equally silver-tongued reply. And worse, this year I’m the one left minding the shop while the others go out for the Christmas lunch. So if you’re collecting John’s stuff this day week do it at half two. They’ll be back and you can go to lunch with me. I hate eating on my own.
Yeah, ok so says I, can’t be leaving you alone with a loaded sandwich, can I? Dangerous that.
Eeeep! She’s full of moxy. I like it. What are you going to wear?
Hurray! No arseing around with this girl. I like her already. So when exactly is “this day week”?
Oh, and terrible news about the mass murder of those IT-illiterate freezing Kiwis. But they had it coming…
“Christmas Nookie”
A new song inspired by Primal Sneeze-destined to become a holiday classic.
Good on her! I like her style.
Where are you going to go for lunch? Busy bar? Small intimate restaurant? Bustling restaurant? If it’s sarnies in the car, you’ve got planned, you’ll catch it in the neck from me, after she took the trouble to ask you out and’ all. That’s fine for a second date (well, not really - depends on the lady) but not in December. It’ll only rain and cast a gloomy spell over the whole enterprise and you can’t look at each other propply either. None of that lovely eye-gazing possible.
I’m dead excited now! When’s it happening?
Is it an embarrassing website Primal? I’ve heard that’s away around the url appearing in the recently typed urls part. I’ve heard. I only read the bible on-line myself.
FMC - Wear? Eh, whatever comes to hand first as always. I don’t have Sunday-go-to-meeting type clothes - everything’s equal in my wardrobe - call it a communist closet.
Caro - Tuesday 27. And yeah, if those IT-illiterate freezing Kiwis can’t take a joke then fek them.
Sugar - We might be onto something there all right. Em, I’m getting ideas for the video too.
Sam - Haven’t a clue where it will be. I somehow don’t think I’ll have a say in it anyway. Oh, and I’ve printed out your last post and will be bringing it with me for reference.
Conorín - Not embarrassing in the slightest but I have heard of that trick myself. No, it’s all genuine. In fact the site was live 2 days when the client’s wife called asking when would it be available - she too is one of these put-the-full-URL-into-Google types - and Google hadn’t indexed at that stage.
I’ll attempt to rise above blather pharmaceutical. (Though of course I’m still interested, and wish you well tomorrow.)
I manage and design web sites, too, and I’ve seen behavior like that a fair amount. It’s usually among relatives, clients, or senior colleagues, so I tread carefully if I bring it up at all.
Some folks like to type URLs into the search box on CNN.com if it’s their default home page.
Through diligent counseling of those within earshot, I’ve created a radius around my cubicle of people who know you don’t have to type the http:// at the beginning of the URL, and very few of them dictate URLs with “backslashes” in them.
The other day I was helping an esteemed colleague manipulate an Excel spreadsheet he’d been sent. He almost never uses Excel, which is probably why he tried to open it in Word. Actually, I can’t count the number of people who think their File > Open window in Word is the way to navigate to all files; they’re unaware of Windows Explorer.
And what does it say for me, that I know all these things by heart? Gan saol ar bith!
Saint Widgie - Thanks for ignoring all things pharmaceutical. So much for IT literacy. One of my very first posts was about about how we measure it wrongly. (I’ve since drifted away from posting sensible things like that).
Here’s the best I’ve had: A girl who worked for me was asked to send me an Excel spreadsheet … she sent me Excel itself - the full app! In the mid-nineties, even in-house networks were crap and I was initially impressed that she’d done so much work on the project that the file was huge, hence downloading painfully slow.