As the year comes to an end we all like to sit back in front of a blazing fire with a nice glass of wine and reminisce on the utter bollix we made of the last 12 months.
Last night, sitting forward (my chair’s broken) over a warm laptop (the fire went out) with a big mug of tea (the wine’s all gone), I began to think of all the folks who found this blog by making an utter bollix of searching the Internet. Some were genuine and just got messed up by Google’s incomprehensible indexing, but others, well what can I say except what the fek were they expecting to find?
| 10. lambing average | Sorry, you'll have to be more specific - for what breed? Were the ewe's sponged? Is the flock housed? |
| 9. free midgets walking down the steps movies | This one had me baffled, so I ran the search myself. I nearly puked! |
| 8. milk fekers | Fekers? Noun or verb? |
| 7. girls from ipanema | Well shur we'd all like one of those. |
| 6. fat brides | Some would prefer one of these it seems. |
| 5. pets hi viz jacket dogs | What a sight that would be. Or a site even. |
| 4. ray foley shite | We all knew that - why ask the Internet? |
| 3. giraffe pee | Very good for chilblains or something I suppose. |
| 2. neighbours fuck outside | Not in this country, mate! Too damn cold. More wrinkles than inches. |
| 1. my daughters ppn number | Belief in the all-knowing Internet?!?! |
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I promise No. 1 was not me!
No. 1 is excellent. I hope he found what he was looking for!
‘free midgets?” Oh Snarf. Most of mine are unprintable, but yours had me in stitches. You’ll also be needing to restock the wine rack.
I’m tempted to look up #9, Primal.
Wine is a must at this time of year, I must second the need for a shopping trip.
Grannymar - Of course it wasn’t. We all believe you. Don’t we guys?
Caro - The funny thing is, if he/she tries again they’ll find this post in the no.1 spot. So to whoever it was, “your daughter’s PPN is 80800280K” - glad to help.
FMC - I left out the really unprintable ones. And the downright stupid ones like “cat sneeze”, “woman sneezes has orgasm”, “sneeze when snowing”. I’m not even going to mention the “galway school girls clubbing without knickers” one, not even in comments. Ooops! Too late.
Medbh - “No!” and “ok” respectively.
I got one last week that went ‘Why are the irish so sexy’ - I reckon they’re making it easier for the blind to use the internet these days
I myself found you by Googling “What is the lambing average of milk feckers when giraffes pee on fat brides fucking Ray Foley outside?” I didn’t think I was going to be held up to ridicule about it though.
I was thinking (no it didn’t hurt that much to come up with the shite that I will spill now in a minute).
Maybe one of the people who stumbled upon your blog did so because they can’t spell or type to save their lives, and they actually wanted to google “primal sleaze”. Obviously, realizing this was not what they were hoping to find at all, they left in a hurry.
I, on the other hand, found your blog after reading a comment you dropped at Annie’s blog and doing a clicky on your name. Mainly because I wanted to see if you close your mouth with your hand when you sneeze or if you just let it go!
Happy Solstice and a stupendous New Year! I am happy to have found your blog.
G
Conorín - Ah here! I’m not commenting on that. No matter what I say I’ll be in trouble.
Sam - So that’s how. You know, I often lay awake for minutes on end wondering about that.
Gayé - And many happy
entersreturns to you. Eh, no I don’t cover my mouth - can’t take pictures that way. It seems there are thousands of Interneters out there searching for “sneeze pictures”.