Irish eyes wide shut
By Primal Sneeze ~ March 21st, 2008. Filed under: Driving, Gardaí, Irish identity, Local, Neighbours.
The road had the odd pothole and the edges sloped toward the ditch in places. Overall it wasn’t a bad road but using it demanded care and attention – you had to drive not just steer; you had to watch out for holes not just pedal; you had to be ready to hop up on the bank on narrow stretches not just stroll.
Then came the Ryder Cup circus. I’ve written about that farce before and told you of the infrastructure upgrades that were hastily made at great expense. The road I mention was one of those upgraded.
When I say upgraded, I mean resurfaced, widened marginally and lined. It wasn’t upgraded to a higher route type. It remains a local link road not a regional or national route.
The Council engineers I chatted with at the time gave me the see what great things we are doing for you look. I gave them the you are destroying my neighbourhood look back. But they didn’t understand. They couldn’t see the long term consequences.
Where once there was a grass bank a walker could take refuge on, now there was nothing but an impenetrable hedge. Where once there were narrow stretches that compelled motorists to slow down, now there was no natural traffic calming. Where once there were humps and hollows and a few potholes, now there was a smooth flat surface. But the bends remained. The budget didn’t stretch to straightening works. Nor did it stretch to providing footpaths or cycle lanes. Why would they do that anyway? It was still a local/link route.
It had become a traffic-friendly road if there is such a thing. Cyclists and pedestrians beware. Of course, this is what the National Roads Authority intended all along – a route (a rat-run, albeit a long one) that would connect two motorways, the M7 and M4, and alleviate congestion on the M50.
And of course, the NRA didn’t say this publicly. They couldn’t be seen to condone the use of route unsuitable for that purpose. But they wouldn’t have to. The truckers would cotton on to it very quickly and they did. The HGV traffic quadrupled within weeks. The car drivers took a little longer to cop on. The white van drivers, the least bright of the bunch, followed.
The volumes and speeds shot through the roof. Residents who once had recessed entrances had had them shaved off by the widening. Their visibility when driving out their gateways was reduced, and in many cases, non-existent. The bends were still there and within seconds of driving onto a clear road they would have traffic on their tail blowing horns while they tried to pick up speed. The Gardaí could do nothing. Proving that someone was speeding is one thing, but proving they were driving at an inappropriate speed is all but impossible.
On one stretch of just 1km there were 20 houses. The residents complained bitterly about the situation. But as is commonplace in Ireland the bitter complaining is done over garden walls, in pubs and outside shops.
When the County Council advertised it was accepting submissions from the public as part of a review of county-wide speed limits only one of these residents responded. Me.
Within weeks the 1km stretch was designated a 60km/h zone and the signs erected. The traffic speed didn’t reduce. Irish drivers ignore them. Many never see them. Of the residents of the 20 houses, some have not yet seen these signs. A full year later and having told them where to look more than once they still claim not to have seen them. Yet the bitter complaining continues over garden walls, in pubs and outside shops.
With eyes wide shut, the only way to alert drivers to these speed limits is to have the Gardaí enforce them. They were always too busy. Until this week that is. I suppose that after 7 near fatal accidents caused by speeding within 12 months in 60km/h zone they realised something was wrong.
They had a squad car stationed on and off over a few days. They had an unmarked one other times though it was obvious what it was with a Garda in uniform beside it. These were the warnings to motorists. We are watching you. Slow down or we’ll get nasty. And they did. Get nasty, not slow down.
A battered white van pulled in at my entrance and Officer Dibble got out. A gatso van. Did I mind if he parked there for random periods over the next few weeks? Of course I didn’t. None of the residents would object to him using their entrances. We would all welcome it. It was about time something was being done. Once the word gets out about a speed-trap the traffic calms. For a few months anyway. A few months respite.
I was wrong about one thing.
- Fuk you, Sneeze! You are some bollix, screamed my neighbour – one of the 20 residents. Why’d ya let them bloody guards stop at your gate?
- Why wouldn’t I, Ian. Shur I was delighted to see them. I’m pissed off with wankers blowing me off the road when I’m trying to get in or out. You were giving out about the same yourself the other day. Maybe they’ll slow down now.
- You’re a fekin informer that’s what ya are. Licking up to the guards. I’m trying to do a days work. I can’t be crawling along all the time in the lorry or I’d never turn a shilling.
- Jayzez, Ian, you were glad of the guards the night your young lad heard men downstairs and yourself and herself were out in the pub.
- That’s different. They should be out catching fellas robbing and selling drugs and not giving out speeding fines to a decent man trying to feed his family.
Everyone seems to mistrust the police. It’s like we’re all convinced that they’re just waiting for us usually law abiding people to slip up and then they’ll be in to slap on their hand cuffs. I think it’s handed down from our parents, mine would have let us all become criminals rather than join the gardai.
Did you ever see the council with their ‘pothole filler’? Its an absolutely ridiculous contraption, it fills in the potholes until the first car passes over it and then it’s a hole again!
MrsS ~ It is said it goes back to the days when the force was a foreign one. Some things are hard to shake off.
The yoke that looks like an elephant? Yeah, it’s pretty snazzy looking but not worth a damn. Paris Hilton springs to mind.
ps. Do you want me to fix your URL?
People don’t want other people to speed, but they want to be able to speed themselves. Your neighbours probably actually wanted the 60km limit but didn’t want it to apply to them, just other road users.
In the same way, people complain about the amount of provisionally licensed drivers on the roads who haven’t a clue how to drive and are a danger to themselves and others. In the same breath they’ll criticise the decision to not allow provisionally (or should i say unlicensed) drivers to drive on their own because it means their son can’t drive the new car he just bought, what a waste of money and what’s the poor boy to do, people in rural areas are fecked etc. Then they’ll probably tell you laughing about the way it took them four attempts to pass the test themselves.
‘Some things are hard to shake off.’ Drivers down there still think in MPH, it will take more than 60 years for the change to sink in.
Caro ~ That was exactly my point. This neighbour feels this section of the public road is his property and he can do what he likes on it, but no one else.
His son will soon get a car and a provisional license, yet he will still be heard bitching about little fekers who shouldn’t be on the roads.
Grannymar ~ Yep. I often hear the I can’t understand kilometres excuse from folks under 40 who were never taught miles etc. in school. The other common one is I can’t see the km/h figures on the speedometer – should they be driving at all if their eyesight is so poor?
There’s nowt so queer as folk. Some people want it all ways. Some people have never grown up really – in a bad way.
Sam ~ So true. They want to bake a cake and walk it too.