Old Sneezes

Archive for March, 2008

Sign o’ the times

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008

My mobile rang. I knew it was the vet – they always speak in italics. Good morning, Mr. Sneeze. I’m calling about Anonycat. I had the feeling this would be a long call so I switched into mobile-mode and began pacing the room alternating the phone between ears. This might take some time. Are you [...]

Strange days and holidays

Monday, March 17th, 2008

Thursday was bitter cold. Bitter as a 70-year-old virgin. The painter’s fingers quickly turned a Smurf blue as he put masking tape on the windows. I helped as best I could with coaching and encouragement – Another one down, Lar. You’re motoring now. I’m sure he appreciated my assistance though he never said. Must be [...]

Subliminal messages

Thursday, March 13th, 2008

I came as such a shock. Day two of the Cheltenham Festival cancelled. High winds were causing havoc to the hospitality areas. Tents were lifting like Marilyn Monroe’s dress but the view of what was beneath was more like Britney Spears getting out of a limo – not something we ever wanted to see. The [...]

I’m here! Over here! Hello, I’m here!

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

Today is exactly Tuesday. The time is precisely about 09:33. The weather is roughly rainy. It is about 6 days to the day when Americans celebrate something they know nothing about. But most importantly, today is absolutely, precisely and exactly the first day of Cheltenham. At absolutely, precisely and exactly 2:00 this afternoon a roar [...]

Where there’s smoke there are many fires

Sunday, March 9th, 2008

In the late ’80s I worked for a small family firm that ran two separate businesses. The foreman of one of these suspected someone was stealing diesel at the processing plant and reported this to the owners. The Gardaí recommended the foreman discretely monitor the tank levels to find out how much was being taken [...]

The Grandmother of all Weekends

Monday, March 3rd, 2008

I don’t like Fridays. I hate Fridays. Fridays are when people remember what they needed done during the week but forgot to ask about. They clear their desks of that niggly chore that’s been on their to-do list since Monday and swamp mine. Friday gone was no different and I was running around like a [...]

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