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Earwigged Gems #4

In the pub

What? No way! €1.20 for a packet of fcukin’ peanuts. Ah here, there’s a €1. Try repossess them if ya like. - The cost conscious drinker.

In the same pub

Jayzez, but that’s one tight feker. Bet he has rubber pockets in his jeans for robbin’ soup. - On overhearing the above.

In the shop

Would ya look at yer wan’s hair. She’d better stay in when they’re judging the Tidy Towns¤ or we’re bollixed. - Obviously a civic spirited young lady.

In the same shop

The language outta ya. Ye’ve a mouth on ya like Brian Cowen¤. - The civic spirited young lady is reprimanded for her linguistic failings.

At the busstop

Don’t mind him. The only course he ever done was of antibiotics. - The villagers’ academic endeavours are discussed.

On the street

Up that way. It’s on the left. The whole yard full of yokes growing in pterodactyl¤ pots. - A non-horticulturalist offers directions.

Post info

This entry was written by Primal Sneeze and posted on May 27, 2008 at 6:21 am and filed under:
Local, Pub talk.
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14 Comments so far (Add 1 more)

  1. “Bet he has rubber pockets in his jeans for robbin’ soup.”

    I will be laughing about that one for ages. Brilliant!

    Reply
    1. problemchildbride on May 27th, 2008 at 9:22 am

  2. the comment on the hair may well have been about me… i was roaming kildare at the weekend, looking a little unwashed and unkempt. things are better now.

    “pterodactyl pots” i shall treasure forever.

    Reply
    2. Rosie on May 27th, 2008 at 10:28 am

  3. Brilliant! I must hone my listening skills!

    Reply
    3. Grannymar on May 27th, 2008 at 11:03 am

  4. Sam ~ Funnier still, they could be right. He’s the sort of lad who’d teach his budgie to use a chest-expander so he wouldn’t have to buy a turkey at Christmas.

    Rosie ~ Nah, it wasn’t you. This one always looks like she’s been pulled backwards through a hedge.

    Grannymar ~ You must! Given the Belfast wit there must be a mother lode going unnoticed.

    Reply
    4. Primal Sneeze on May 27th, 2008 at 1:23 pm

  5. hahah, antibiotics. I love it.

    Reply
    5. fatmammycat on May 27th, 2008 at 1:27 pm

  6. “try reposses them if ya like” now I’d like to hear them say it to their bank! Tight feker or not he certainly is upto date with current affairs in the finance world…
    Very funny gems Primal. :)
    G

    Reply
    6. Gaye on May 27th, 2008 at 2:25 pm

  7. €1.20 for peanuts is a bit dodgy, like. More for the awkwardness than anything - buying snacks in a pub always feels like cheating so you don’t want to be fishing around for coins, just lash em a euro and be done with it.

    I miss Bacon Fries.

    Reply
    7. emordino on May 27th, 2008 at 4:51 pm

  8. FMC ~ Good! I try to please everybody.

    Gayé ~ And you like the “repossess” one? See - something for everyone.

    E.M. Esq. ~ Ah, yes, bacon fries. The food of the gods, or if not, then the food of the kings. Eh, that reminds me - no sign of King Crisps lately.

    Reply
    8. Primal Sneeze on May 27th, 2008 at 7:42 pm

  9. the shop across the road from my office in Rathmines do salt & vinegar King. a rarity indeed…

    Reply
    9. Rosie on May 27th, 2008 at 8:37 pm

  10. Heh nope, actually i liked ALL of them but my favourites were already mentioned above me so I picked the one that was left :p

    Reply
    10. Gaye on May 27th, 2008 at 10:19 pm

  11. Rosie ~ In the world of crips, King is indeed the King of crips.

    Gayé ~ So now I’ve nothing left to pick from! Not that it matters - I never read this blog anyway.

    Reply
    11. Primal Sneeze on May 28th, 2008 at 5:38 am

  12. All real gems Primal. Think I might try the ‘reposses’ trick on my next coffee, and if that gets it tipped over my head, I’ll definitely be off to the tailors for those rubber pockets - think they could be very useful! :)

    Reply
    12. Mzungu Chick on May 28th, 2008 at 9:07 am

  13. The Tidy Towns one - that tested my keeping my guffaws at work silent skills.

    Reply
    13. johnmc on May 28th, 2008 at 7:37 pm

  14. White girl ~ They can’t tip it over your head until they repossess it first. Always remember that. And clean underwear - in case you get knocked down by a bus.

    John Mc ~ Glad to hear you bore up under the strain. You must get home more often - they wouldn’t seem out of the ordinary then.

    Reply
    14. Primal Sneeze on May 28th, 2008 at 9:01 pm

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