The coppers in your greasy till
By Primal Sneeze ~ June 5th, 2008. Filed under: Charity.
I haven’t posted in a few days. It’s not that I’ve been overly busy or anything, but when you’ve nothing to say it’s best to say nothing.
And anyway, nothing of interest happened. Until yesterday, when I (got) volunteered to count and bag the proceeds of a street collection. Doesn’t sound interesting? The thrill of handling those grubby, disease-carrying coins doesn’t make you sit up?
Me neither. But what I am always intrigued by is
a) What the final tally will be and
b) What weird items I will find.
This time, there was c) A coin-counter. A machine! A brand new toy to play with.
Yes, we could use one of those in-store counters but the shops take a percentage. That 5% or whatever is better off in the charity’s coffers than Quiki Mart’s. After one or two uses our machine will have paid for itself.
When I say our, I mean the local branch of the organisation. The national body bought the counters, distributed them, and cross-charged the, let’s call them, sub-offices. That’s what they are - sub-offices. Large charities function like corporations. That can be great for the individual branches in terms of support with advertising, filing accounts and so on, but let me tell you it is a nightmare when it comes to buying coin-counters.
Some loo-laa in the purchasing department at HQ bought a pallet of household counters. The type Mrs. Mulligan uses to tot up the €150 in her change jar the week before Punchestown, not the type you need to handle 2 or 3 grand. (Have you ever tried lifting €3k in change, by the way? Don’t!)
So I struggled with c) the counter, cleaning the sensors and letting it cool down periodically, all the while refining my guess at what a) the final total, would be, but it did give me pauses in which to study b) the weird items. That’s the bit that always gives me most amusement.
Invariably there are four groupings.
1. Foreign (non-Euro) coins; 2. miscellaneous metal objects; 3. religious trinkets; 4. old Irish coins.
Foreign coins I can understand. They are in circulation. And a piece of a broken keyring can easily get mixed up in change.
Holy medals. I reckon 3.7 per €1,000 on average. Maybe they could be classified under the miscellaneous objects category. But I can’t help thinking some people believe they are imparting something of value. Thanks. We appreciate the gesture, but unfortunately the bank won’t take them. There is no little box on their lodgement slips saying St. Martin deHarley of the Motorbikes :: Grade A Blessed by a Pope/B Blessed by a Biker/C Unblessed [Delete as applicable] :: Quantity :: Value.
Old Irish coins really get me for two reasons. Firstly some of the damn things happily pass through this machine as genuine denomination and I have to fish them out and start over. (Hint to HQ: A good machine would catch them). Secondly, why in the name of the mother of the six sniffling infants are people carrying these around in their pockets?
Is that it? Do people purposely fill one pocket with junk specifically for collection boxes? Something metal that will make a coin-like clink? Right hand pocket: Mine for spending. Left hand pocket: Props for them.
Look! We don’t mind if you just decline. Honestly! All you have to say is “no thanks” or “not today”. Or just shake your head. Or stare at the ground. There is no need to be embarrassed. Maybe you can’t spare anything. Fine. Maybe your charity of choice is The Brewer’s Droop Research Fund and you’d prefer support (?) only it. We understand.
Your coins are welcome. Even the 1 and 2 cents. (They came to €19 this time - that will pay a carer for 2 hours. See? It all helps.) But don’t give junk just because you’re shy - it only creates work and inconvenience.
Tags: Charity
No sweets?
I once found chewed gum back in its foil wrapper and flattened like a coin. Ugh!
What flavour?
I was collecting for the cancer society one day and it was decided that a mate and I would round things off by going around the pubs with a collection bucket. It felt a bit cuntish to butt in on people who were having a quiet pint so we tended to just make eye contact and smile a lot and hope people would take the hint. Which worked well enough… except when some battleaxe took issue with us and started insisting that we had nothing to do with the society and were just looking to make a few bob for ourselves. I pointed out our vests and name tags and told her who was organising the collection but she was having none of it, so I thought “fuck it” and moved on. My mate took it personally though and stuck around, not getting aggressive or anything but asking her why in the name of God we’d go to so much effort to scrape together the price of a pint. It was getting to the point where her thick-necked boyo of a husband was threatening to do violence to us because of how we were taking advantage of sick people.
So there you go. I mention this because I know the unnecessary lengths people will go to to feel better about not contributing, but taking the moral high ground was a new one on me.
For years, I coordinated volunteer collectors for a busy intersection for a local charity’s fundraiser. One weekend each year, Chicago and its suburbs are blitzed. The firefighters do it in “costume” and use their boots to collect (imagine handling that loot!). I agree with emordino - people’s reaction when they see you coming is a very valuable lesson in human nature. We do give something in return - now it’s a small bag of jelly beans. For many, many years we gave, um, suckers. Carmel-flavored. Darn it, they were really, really tasty!
Anyway, the blitz works. I think the average total is around $750,000. Mind you, it is a terrific organization. http://www.misericodia.org
Slán
Good Lord, I can’t get over that. Like you said, look the other way. I’m always caught out with those collections, because I still haven’t gotten used to a cash society. I “laser” everything! Neighbourhood kids know not to bother asking me to sponsor whatever it is they have going on, because I never have cash!
But I make a donation every month via direct debit to a charity I feel strongly about, so I don’t feel bad about turning the collectors down.
On a similar note though, when I was in university in the US, I was a waitress. We used to have this guy come in who thought he was Michael the Archangel (I kid you not, google said angel and Michigan and he will come out on top.) He had his own currency, all denomination of coins. This currency would be our tip. Need I remind everyone that at the time a waitress wage was $1.85 an hour. Those tips were everything to us. I guess I should have kept one of his coins. Who knows? Might have cut me some slack with the man upstairs if I ever need it!
Primal
There was no flavour left. Perhaps it was on the bedpost the night before!
E. M. Esq ~ That’s a first. I haven’t heard of that reaction before.
Though I have heard of the scam. It is at the stage now where we are just as careful about recovering the vests, tubs, ID tags and Garda permission certs as we are about the money.
Kelly ~ Giving something back, no matter how small, makes it easier for those who don’t want to donate - they can decline to buy what you’re selling.
Years ago I was involved in a street BBQ to raise money for the survivors of a house fire. The deal was a burger cooked and dressed to taste for whatever you’d like to, or could, pay. Some small kids handed up their pennies but many, actually most, adults paid multiples of what the local chipper charged.
Debz ~ That’s it! No one need feel ashamed or have to make excuses for not supporting a particular cause.
Pity you didn’t keep some Archangel coins. We’d all be interested in seeing pics. Do you remember how he had them made?
Grannymar ~ Hey, there’s a song in that! Or are we too late?
I used to help my granny count collection money for Alzheimer’s Scotland and my dad to count money for the Kidney Patients Association. In the winter we’d find cough-drops and I once found a plaster - bleurgh.
You’re right, lucre is filthy. My mother worked in a bank for 25 years and if she had the tiniest scratch on her hand it would flare up like a balloon if she’d been counting money.
Sam ~ With the new coin counter we’re now spared the worst. Except for having to clean the trays.
I’ve gotten a few coins caked in chewing gum (Airwaves Menthol & Eucalyptus Sugar-Free). Hard to know if they got coated before going into he collection tub or not. Ah well, at least it wasn’t Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit - that’s yeuchy.
I don’t think people volunteer enough of donate enough of their time and / money for a good cause. It’s the core of the problem, the selfishness. Everyone has too much on their plate, they have to work, cook, look after kids, work some more, ah there is never enough time to do anything worth doing for the society, for people in need? Wrong! There is always time for a pint in the pub, no? There is always time for meaningless banter in a shop. There is always time for a visit to that art gallery and spend hours schmoozing and drinking the free wine… But there isn’t time to volunteer for an hour a week. bullshit.
Because volunteerism is such a rare thing I have utmost respect for people who do donate their precious times in this crazy ratrace of a life where all others have are excuses not to lift a finger.
Whenever I do a bit of volunteer work (last one was in Ireland, I had a blast) I feel so good about having made a difference albeit a small one. I don’t think I do enough of it either, and have to pick up my game. I don’t think I could walk around with a bucket in my hand, because I think I would pick fights with people who act like that woman in the pub mentioned above.
Also, I don’t think it’s enough to drop a coin once in a blue moon in a box, to clear our conscience. It’s ok, but not good enough.
As for the assholes who stick stuff other than proper coins into a box, karma will take care of them.
/rant off
Ahh, doesn’t it take all the fun out of counting?
19 euro in 1s and 2s holy crap! I never thought a charity would want them - I have jars of them - I wonder where I could bring them here….
Gayé ~ Come to think of it, 80% of the collectors the last time were members of the charity itself. i.e. Potential recipients of financial assistance in years to come.
Flirty ~ No. It takes
allmost of the pain out of it.Conorín ~ A bank? Then do what you wish with the notes you get back. Like post them to me maybe.
Careful Lads!
Some banks take a %age for counting the coins! I know my sister got caught that way once. She was not told before hand.
Grannymar ~ Down here they all take a cut when you lodge coin. We give the coin to local shops and pubs and get notes/cheques off them. They are always short of change and hate paying the banks for it.