Old Sneezes

Archive for August, 2008

Joke #something

Sunday, August 31st, 2008

Paddy: I’m off on me hols on Saturday for two weeks.
Mick: Nice one. Listen, would you get me 200 fags and a bottle of brandy. I’ll give you the money when you get back.
Two weeks later …
Paddy: There you go. 200 B&H and a bottle of Hennessy.
Mick: Good man. Fair play to ya. What do [...]

Not going to Galway

Saturday, August 30th, 2008

Now don’t forget to feed our cat when we’re away.
I won’t forget.
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So what day is it ye’re are going to Galway?
There you go again – Galway. We ARE NOT going to Galway. How many times do I have to tell you we are going to Clare? You keep saying Galway. You keep telling people that. [...]

3 down: Postman’s bag

Thursday, August 28th, 2008

I noticed one of the letters the substitute postman had dropped in the door wasn’t for me and went after him.
This isn’t mine.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I’m sure. It’s Morris Harney’s pension cheque from Roadstone.
You opened it?
No I didn’t. It says “Roadstone – Pensions Department” on it.
So how come you have it?
You gave it to me!
You’d [...]

The pre-party – part 2

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

I played with the Cat for hours yesterday. Great craic. I think the Cat enjoyed it too. Pretending it had voice control was fun too – “Yo! Back, Ho” for reverse and so on.
A large area has been cleared and graded off, ready for the bouncy slug/train/whatever and some fancy concert-like fake grass will be [...]

The pre-party

Sunday, August 17th, 2008

And so there was to be a party. A big one. There would be people there from far and wide. Far meaning a husband and wife from Spain. Wide meaning an aunt Maggie and her arse.
Would I like to help with the preparations? Help meaning receive a long list of tasks and complete them in [...]

The Leaving Cert – A Crash Course

Thursday, August 14th, 2008

The local hotel all but had a sign over the door saying underage drinkers welcome. In appreciation of their welcoming us over the previous year or so that’s where met up the night before the Leaving Cert results were released. The plan was just two pints to settle the nerves and we stuck to it. [...]

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