Bank holiday Friday
By Primal Sneeze ~ August 1st, 2008. Filed under: Civil servants, Economy, Pet Hates.
Bzzz … bzzz … bzzz … bzzz … bzzz goes the phone.
Answer the fekin thing … answer the fekin thing … answer the fekin thing goes The Sneeze.
Bzzz … bzzz … bzzz … bzzz … bzzz goes the phone. Bzzz … bzzz …
Department of Vegetation, good morning goes the woman in her I’m-not-a-civil-servant voice.
‘Morning. I’d like to speak with someone about panda trees, please.
I’m sorry, the person who normally handles that is out today.
Can someone else help me?
Well, there’s no one here today that can really. The bank holiday and that.
The bank holiday weekend begins tomorrow, Saturday. Today is Friday. Ah here, can I assume someone will be there on Tuesday?
I’m off Tuesday instead of today so I can’t ask someone to call you then. I’ll leave a note but it might be best if you rang again.
Any chance you’d work 3% of Tuesday?
Sorry?
It’s okay. I didn’t expect you to have a bamboo what I’m saying.
Clink goes the Sneeze’s phone.
Via Gayé:
Next time say ‘Hold on and I’ll get someone’ set the phone down and leave it, walk away whistling at intervals!
@Grannymar - Only if it’s a free-phone number though.
Ah yes. Civil servants are employed somewhere - they don’t work there.
I was in the Aliens Office in Berlin once [the nice one, for white foreigners]. There was a cartoon of two civil servants behind masses of paper. One was saying to the other “I thought about getting a goldfish for the office, but it might introduce too much activity”.
The Germans have a games called “Beamten Mikado” - the first person to move loses.
Hows that for insulting a whole category of society…
I’d leave a comment but that’s not my job.
@aonghus - “I thought about getting a goldfish for the office, but it might introduce too much activity”.
Pure class! Go to the top of the class.
@Caro - I’m sorry there is no one here today to read your comment. Please try later.
When were servants ever civil, or public - they were meant to be invisible, and never to speak unless spoken to.
It’s a Bank Holiday, big deal. I just wish those lazy lumps would work through it! I mean, bank holidays are probably when most people would try to get stuff done that they couldn’t because they’re busy during the week. But it doesn’t help when EVERYONE has the day off…
@Conan Drumm - Reminds me of the yarn about when passports carried details of profession. The colonial border guard read “Civil Servant” and said “Ah! A Gentleman’s Gentleman”, Upon which the holder had the designation changed at the next available opportunity to “Public Administrator”….
I feel I should pipe up with some defense of those civil servants who do try to go a good job. But that would get close to self-congratulation, and that’s soft and soggy ground. Heck, I know plenty of us display a very poor attitude, and I don’t like to see it any better from the inside than from the receiving end.
If you call me up (or email me) and ask me to help you find something on our great big disorganized web site, I’ll do my best to help you, even though it’s not specifically my job. I’ll even try to find you an answer somewhere else, if that’s where it is. I must have “Reference Librarian” tattooed invisibly somewhere.
I will also politely field calls wherein you rant that we don’t stand up to our administration (the elected and appointed folks), or when you tell us that you wear foil lining in your hat to combat the mind control wave we use. (Honest, we’ve gotten that one.)
And next Halloween, I’ll be the one in the Faceless Bureaucrat costume.
Hope you get through to someone helpful.
I’ve got a song for you Primal, it’s an Australian (from Melbourne to be exact) musician very talented, goes by the name Gotye. Thought it was appropriate for the occasion.
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=-UvvkWd_dR4
@Conan Drumm - I always confused that with little children.
@TheChrisD - But the Friday wasn’t the bank holiday.
@aonghus - Two in a row. You’re on fire this week.
@stwidgie - You are an exception. And a fountain of information … I’ve tried find stuff on that website (about SEMASS, near Cape Cod). It killed me, and I’m good at that normally.
I guess it’s the 99% give the rest a bad name.
@gaye - Pure class! I have added it to the post.
Tin foil in the lining of a hat is merely a protective measure. Of course there are no mind control waves really. Everyone knows that. It’s always the first charge levelled at you when people find out about the tin foil.
@problemchildbride - I can’t really afford tin foil. Would greaseproof paper work?
In defence of civil servants everywhere, if one good apple were to be helpful and productive it would only make the other bad apples look even more useless and that could endanger a good apples well being.
p.s. You’ve just been tagged over at mine!
Good grief how many bank holidays are there in Ireland. We;ve had only once since Easter. It’s not fair - the next isn’t until christmas.
What’s worse than civil servants are international civil servants
@Quickroute - Yes, that would be decidedly unc-úll. Oh, and sorry about un-tagging myself.
@Conortje - Ah yes, but you guys have drugs and other cool stuff like, I dunno, clogs.