Guess what I won!
By Primal Sneeze ~ September 19th, 2008. Filed under: Local, Work.
Six hours with a business coach worth, I don’t know, a stocking load of money. More than six hours with a hooker anyway I’d reckon.
My name was pulled out of a hat in a competition run by the local Chamber Pot of Commerce. I didn’t know there was a competition. I didn’t even know they had a hat. Maybe they got a grant for one.
Apparently I’m going to be so delighted with the coach I’ll be only gagging to join the Chamber out of gratitude. Gagging? We’ll see about that - the very word ‘Chamber’ does make me gag, but I don’t think that’s what they mean.
So I did a bit of research about this business coach on the Internet. 
Turns out it’s a partnership of two very young looking gurus. The website lists “Business Development ,Team Performance , Time Management ,Sales & Marketing ,Advertising ,Website SEO, Costs,Finance ,Cash flow” as areas they can help in. Obviously they don’t help with writing copy.
Being reluctant to give up six hours of my time to be coached by someone who looks like they could have no more than six hours actual experience in business, I consulted with the sibling (recently qualified in coaching) and one of my erstwhile managers (who is one of Ireland’s top coaches - writes now an again in the grown-up paper and all).
Both agreed I should take the Chamber up on their offer and listed their reasons one by one. One by one I responded “ah here, that’s bollix”, or words to that effect. Both finally admitted they wanted me to report back on the competition.
So over the next few weeks I shall be conducting industrial espionage at the expense of the Chamber Pot of Commerce. Now there’s something to add to my resumé. I might hit myself for a payrise.
Bring your own paper!
Definitely report back here for us as well! I’d be interested to hear what tips they give you!
I thought the prerequisite for coaches was to have at least played the game?
I look forward to hearing your exploit[s|ation) of them!]
@Grannymar - I will!
@Keiron - That’s the plan.
@aonghus - You honestly don’t think I’d wind them up, do you?
“Business Development ,Team Performance , Time Management ,Sales & Marketing ,Advertising ,Website SEO, Costs,Finance ,Cash flow”
I love the variety in the pre/post punctuation spacing.
Conga-rats anyways on your win. Could you trade the coaching hours with something else, if you wanted to? Also, was there a “this offer is valid till September 30th 2008 or something?
@Gaye - I would have traded for six hours with a hooker - that’s something I could sell on - but they said no. And no, they didn’t give a valid-until date. Perhaps I should make the first appointment for 19/09/2109.
Hehe yea.
Here’s a question. while all other blogs and misc pages take about 2 secs to load, why does yours usually take anything upto half a minute on my Firefox?
It goes back and forth between “http://www.primalsneeze.com” and “transferring data from http://www.primalsneeze.com” I sit back in anticipation and wait… and wait.. and finally BAM! there it is. Any ideas?
@Gaye - Yes, lots of ideas: Too many bloody toys, gadgets and scary things running in the background, and too many third party servers being accessed.
I’ve disabled some of them now. Mail me if it hasn’t helped. I think I know the main culprit but I don’t want to disable it unless absolutely necessary.
Take some lollipops and comics with you. If things aren’t going well you can always distract them with those. They’ll play happily in the corner and you’ll get to read your paper in peace.
@Primal Sneeze - Wind them up? They sound self winding to me.
Those who can, do. Those who can’t….coach or consult….
“Website SEO”
Haven’t a clue what this is. I take it’s not ‘an Website seo’?
@problemchildbride - No way am I parting with my lollipops or comics.
@aonghus - Okay so. That’s what’ll do.
@Conan Drumm - It could very well be. Can’t wait to be coached in it though.