How to impress your mother-in-law to be
By Primal Sneeze ~ September 28th, 2008. Filed under: Builders, Characters, Friends, Mothers, Occasions.
Grannymar’s post on a Woman’s Poem and a Man’s Poem reminded me next weekend two of my best friends celebrate their 12th wedding anniversary. I knew the 25th anniversary is silver and the 50th gold, but I had to check Wikipedia for the 12th. Why would I bother? Well because Pat will call me today, as he always does a week before. Here, have ya got the Internet thing on? Will ya look up what I’m supposed to be giving herself on Saturday. If he doesn’t burst his butt laughing when I tell him what the 12th is I’ll be surprised.
They met in London. She was nursing England. He was building it. Within months they both knew they had found their match.
That summer they came home for a holiday and stayed with her parents. Things were going very well until the third day when he was left alone with Maureen Waters for the first time.
Maureen can be daunting at first. I know that myself. Straight-backed and always immaculately groomed, her accent and even her gait betray a background far above her husband’s station.
So, Patrick, tell me again what it is you do? I understand it is in the area of construction.
Groundworker mainly, Mrs. Waters. But I can turn me hand to anything, as they say.
A groundworker? What exactly does that entail? Would one consider it a skilled profession?
Well ya have to know what you’re at. We get the ground cleared and lay down the drains and the paths and the foundations and all that.
It does not appear to be quite an important role. Or indeed, skilled. Unless of course I am misinterpreting what you say, Patrick.
Oh it is important, missis! Shur if we don’t get our bit right then the whole lot could come tumbling down.
I see. And the remuneration?
Huh?
The money, Patrick. As a career, is it well paid?
Well I’ll put it to ya this way, Mrs. Waters. If that lassie of yours sticks with me, in no time at all she’ll be farting through pure silk.
That’s the best expression I’ve heard in a long time! Classic!
I bet Maureen was wondering just how much groundwork he’d already done on her daughter!
what a great story, sugar! your friend patrick does know how to turn a phrase! xoxo
Well, if it isn’t yourself savannah. Howya getting on? Have you something to tell us all?
this is fantastic, sugar, how do you do it?
@Deborah - One of my favourites too.
@problemchildbride - Yep. She probably guessed the foundations weren’t the only thing laid.
@savannah - How do I do it? Simple. With magic and a spoon.
Did he REALLY say that! Brilliant!
@Caro - Okay, this blog might be best taken with a bucket of salt, but this story is 100% true.
Sure you’d end up in a load of sh*t without the groundworkers!
“farting through pure silk.” Hilarious!
Primal ya kill me. You just kill me.
Maybe Victoria’s Secret can find some way to put that phrase in their advertising. “For those elegant occasions when you want to pass gas with class.”
That kind of thing.
And the MIL, she shits through the eye of a needle?
@Sugar Britches - @Grannymar - Exactly! That’s what he was trying to explain - “foundation stone” and all that. I have more of his “spakes” - want to read them?
@Sugar Britches - “For those elegant occasions when you want to pass gas with class.” Yep, that’d work. Vidal Saas-buuum? Ralph La-ruuurp?
@Conan Drumm - Just pretends to. Like a camel.
Of course I want read them!
@Sugar Britches - Right so. I’ll dig out some more when I get time.
Keep those “spakes” coming!
@Grannymar - Wil’co, Cap’ain. @ *Stands to attention*