The new dog
By Primal Sneeze ~ October 5th, 2008. Filed under: Characters, Friends, Local, Publicans, Pubs.
They weren’t living together long when Pat’s wife-to-be began dropping the phrase, pitter-patter of little feet, into conversation. So off to Joe-the-dog he and I went and bought a 14-week-old puppy. A beautiful Golden Retriever bitch.
A name. She would need a name. We took to the high stool, leaving the puppy to explore the bar, to think about it.
Dee-Oh-G was a runner. Maybe Keh-mere. Barker? Maybe, but what if she turned out to be a whiner instead? We called another round - these deliberations could take time.
Ah for fuck sake, screamed the barman. Look what that bastardin’ dog of yours is after doing!
Unnamed puppy, exhausted from exploring, had climbed on a bench, fallen fast asleep and peed all over it. Awakened by the commotion, she was visibly embarrassed.
The barman tossed a out toilet roll. Here, he roared red-faced, you wipe that up. I’m not going near it.
Pat tore off two small sheets, walked over, gently raised the dog’s tail and dabbed at her butt.
That Pat is well trained! No point in wasting paper we need to think of the trees!
so, i’m back at home and no, sugar, i did not laugh out loud! tell me you have more stories about yer man there!
xoxo
I hate it when you take someone to the pub and they can’t hold their drink.
So what name did ye settle on in the end?
@Grannymar - And way ahead of his time. This all happened way back when Green was a colour.
@savannah - I do indeed. I’ll just have to dig them out and dust off the cobwebs.
@Caro - We later learned it wasn’t only her drink she couldn’t hold and called her Sonia. Like the athlete, she was liable to go anywhere.
uh oh where did my comment go? :^(
@gaye - I wish I knew. It’s not in spam or moderation and didn’t show in traffic stats.
Maybe call it “Uncontrollable Urges”?
14 weeks old and you let her out without a nappy? - you should be ashamed of yourselves.
@TheChrisD - Or just “UU”.
@Conortje - We were. Well, we weren’t - we were too busy laughing at the barman’s face.
In true masters of the universe parlance, somebody’s gota shoot that puppy.
How’ bout calling her Piddles with a silent P, like in cake?
Call her Wee-one
@Sniffle&Cry - Didn’t have to. She committed seppuku shortly after being re-homed.
@problemchildbride - Cake with a silent P is bun.
@Quickroute - ‘One’ wouldn’t be anywhere near enough. Wee-one-million perhaps.