Commission for Energy Regulation … regulate nothing!
By Primal Sneeze ~ December 2nd, 2008. Filed under: Civil servants, Economy, Pet Hates, Plonkers.
In early November Bord Gáis had proposed a price increase of on average 3.9%, with ESB proposing an increase of 5.6%. Remember gas and electricity prices have already risen by 20% and 17.5% respectively this year.
The Commission for Energy Regulation yesterday announced that the proposed gas and electricity price rises are to be scrapped and that electricity bills for many households will drop by 0.76%. And they did so to great fanfare. Presumably to Fanfare of the Common Man, for it is the Common Man they are there to protect.
Perhaps Also sprach Zarathustra would have been more appropriate for a bunch of monkeys standing up (to say ‘no’) for the first time and believing they were calling the shots.
From the press release: “In making its decision, the Commission has taken into account recent falls in the price of gas, coal and oil on the international fuel markets”.
Oh you are great lads altogether aren’t you. Standing up on your hind legs. Calling the shots. Laying down the law. Getting tough.
Really?
It hadn’t anything to do with the ESB and Bord Gáis coming out and saying “look, fuel prices are dropping like a whore’s knickers at an Amsterdam stag night so we won’t be needing that price rise - we’re making a killing as it is. But thanks anyway, lads. We’ll get back to you later if we need it”? Did it? Did it?
Did you ever hear such bolloxology? “Commission has taken into account”. The commission took nothing into account. Except their salaries into their bank accounts.
If these civil servants had a pair of balls between them (I’ll leave Cathy Mannion out of this for obvious reasons) the press release would have read as follows:
In early November Bord Gáis had proposed a price increase of on average 3.9%, with ESB proposing an increase of 5.6%. The Commission had bugger all to take into account as recent falls in the price of gas, coal and oil on the international fuel markets resulted in the ESB and Bord Gáis indicating they no longer needed these increases.
However, in view of the dramatic drop in fuel prices [cue fanfare] we have instructed both parties to reverse their increases of earlier this year. If they fail to do so we will fine them one year’s gross income, this money to be paid directly to their customers.
Why for the love of the lord lamb of jayzez do we have regulatory commissions when they couldn’t regulate an oven at gas mark 5?
Either they have no real power, are pawns of those they supposedly regulate or they just don’t give a bollix.
Today’s post has been brought to you by the Commission for Energy Regulation, the ESB, Bord Gáis and the word “bollix”.
I recently followed a bit of money in the public sector. There were five separate agencies involved, three interdepartmental committees, and a final rubber stamp from the cabinet from which local representatives were first informed so they could pretend patronage was involved in deciding where the money went. The cost of administering this little pot is a huge multiplier of the actual value of the pot.
All the state agencies, including regulators, are a way of maintaining an elaborate pretense. It is how politicians, when it suits them, can claim or deny responsibility for munificence/fuck ups.
I likes my lekky I do, I was seriously relieved when I heard this, I don’t care who fucked what up.
There’s a very serious conversation happening here about ‘Bollix’, I am trying to educate an American on the complexities of the word, as is my duty as a proud Irish language user.
Primal, any chance you would write and tell NIE (Northern Ireland Electricity) about the prices going down. Up here the price of lekkie rose by 14% on 1st July and again by 33.3% on 1st October they have increased my monthly DD by £13.
Do you have a cap I could borrow? Where would I get singing lessons, FAST?
@Conan Drumm - In short, it all gets buried to the bollix in bullshit.
They can’t seriously think we believe their rubbish!
What was the fund you followed, if you’re at liberty to say?
@K8 - Aim higher. Imagine Obama’s inauguration speech:
@Grannymar - But that’s shameful. That’s an annual increase of 52% (not the 47% they may like one believe).
Why is it the small firms always have to absorb cost increases to stay in business but the big boys just pass it on to the man/woman on the street (singing with a hat).
It’s like the hair on Obama’s bollix - it cannot possibly be fair.
Did you know my late mother-in-law?
I never met her but she had a similar line about life not being fair!
Can’t really say, but I think it’s a ’systemic’ bollix issue widespread in the pubic sector.
@Grannymar - I didn’t know her. But my father must have. It’s from him I got it.
@Conan Drumm - That would be “symbolix” of the public sector?
@Primal Sneeze - shambollix is what the civil service does, isn’t it?
Civil service - almost as oxymoronic as “military intelligence” or “microsoft works”
@aonghus - True x 2.
True * 2 (if that’s your formatting preference).
By the way, I am liking “oxymoronic” more and more. Eh, the word, not the meaning. Yep, I really like that.
Well, as I live and breath, something the ol’ US does better for once. Sure, the Feds and the respective States put their individual taxes and fees on each gallon of fuel pumped into your rig but if any State is found to be price gouging on the price of fuel, the Feds pound the crap out of them. Same goes for each individual gas station. It actually works the majority of time.
My sympathies to you folks who have to deal with such a bollixed up government.
And I happen to be the American of whom K8 is educating in the use of the word “bollix”. And I’m high enough, thank you very much. My President-elect has his own website, blog and all. I’ll be sure to let him know that he’s really missing out on impressing a whole lot of people by not applying the various conjugations of the word “bollix” into his speeches.
May I use your quote then, Primal? It was very good.
@Kirk M - You’re not confusing gas with petrol are you? Gas = butane here.
K8 is very wise. Bollix is one of the most versatile words ever. It even sounds great.
Oh, and what quote? Use anyway, just wondering which.