When does Christmas begin at Sneezy Manor?
By Primal Sneeze ~ December 9th, 2008. Filed under: Occasions.
In Orthodox Craw-Thumping Christmas begins with Advent but, like food from the takeaway, that is a movable feast. As with takeaway, movable feasts are a source of confusion. Therefore, to simplify things, in many calendars (the Christian; the Pirelli; the Dilbert) it officially begins on December 8.
But no matter when it begins, Christmas is a special time of year for many.
A time when you can stick a small conifer up an angel’s arse without fear of arrest.
“Isn’t that pretty?” Pretty painful if you were the angel.
A time for legitimised cultural theft when all nations claim others’ traditions as their own.
“Well would ya believe it, Darleen – they have Christmas trees in Germany too”.
A time to lie to small children and distort their belief system by combining myth, religion and commerce, and all for adults’ amusement.
There is nothing funnier than a little boy trying to make the connection between a turkey dinner, a bearded guy in a red suit bringing toys and tourists with a baby stranded in a cowshed. And how can it be a Silent Night with all those Jingle Bells?
In Sneezy Manor things are different. Sodoma angelorum est prohibeo. There are no expensive sheets of cardboard from Hallmark. Anyone offering Yuletide felicitations is politely asked to pull the door behind them.
In short, Christmas neither begins nor ends. In Sneezy Manor Christmas does not happen.
Bah! Humbug!
Mostly agreed, but if the persons involved bring their own, I’ll let them stay. Being festive is the price you pay for free beer.
Oh Tannenbaum, oh Holy Shite, oh Mr Psneeze, say it ain’t so!
@Kae Verens – Well, I suppose for free beer exceptions could be made.
@Conan Drumm – ‘Fraid it is so. No decking halls or any malarkey like that around here.
What about the mid-winter pagan party, any chance of a sozzled solstice?
@Conan Drumm – Shur why not. A few beers and a bit of naked gambolling never did anyone any harm.
Boy am I glad that I am no angel!
@Grannymar – Comment of the century right there!
Why?
Is it a childhood scar?
Is it an adulthood grief?
Is it lack of belief?
Is it over-commercialisation?
What is it?
I feel bad for feeling so disconnected from it all, so I pretend, I write cards and give presents. To fit in. I don’t do religion, until I am in deep shite and I turn my head up and say : well if you are there don’t you think it’s time to prove you are?
I am a hypocrite perhaps.
But I have a serious problem following “religions” with books written by men for men. (no offence to any, love ‘em and stuff)
If the three wise kings delivering mir to some obscure barn in the middle of nowhere were so clever – why did they need a follow a star? – everyone in the know – knows that was a GPS satellite anyways
@Gaye – No, nothing serious. The only childhood scar I have is under my right knee – farmyard accident.
Like you, I’m not Christian, and like you, I (not feel, I simply) am disconnected from it all. I gave up pretending many, many years ago. Then I gave up pretending to pretend.
But I am guilty of hypocrisy in that I give my mates’ kids presents. That doesn’t really bother me. Any time I see something cool I buy it for them no matter the time of year.
@Quickroute – Remember the Life of Brian:
Wise man #1: We are three wise men.
Brian’s mother: Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o’clock in the morning? That doesn’t sound very wise to me.
Wise man #1: We were led by a star.
Brian’s mother: Led by a bottle, more like.
I am the Anti-Christ…mas. Although I have mellowed out a bit this year.Mainly not by ranting about how much I hate it all over the shop.
I’m being quiet this year in the hope it all blows over quickly or I can hibernate until New Year.
People are very rude during Christmas season… Why?
Doesn’t it defeat the purpose of the whole thing?
I like solstice, even Chinese new year. And especially the NYE, because I am sucker for the idea of an end to something and a (non-religious!) beginning
“Sodoma angelorum est prohibeo” – ?? – please.
And there won’t be snow in Africa, either.
I don’t know Primal, can you fabricate a happy feeling or does it have to be organic?
Personally, I get all bent outa shape around Christmas and it was consoling to read your commentors. (..ers or ..ors ?)
For the kids really.
But aren’t we just big kids?
@Hangar Queen – Denial works. Just pretend it’s not happening and it won’t.
@Gayé – The rudeness is a result of the pressure of trying to make it perfect and pretending to enjoy it.
@Sniffle&Cry – “?? – please” as in “oh, please spare me!” or as in “translate please”.
Happy feelings have to be organic. Like the best drugs.
As in ” translate please” .
I’m not 100% sure anymore about that organic thing though.
Sodomy of angels is forbidden.
Ga! Imagine the folks Google is going to bring to this site now!
It doesn’t happen? Can I come stay with you for the holidays?
No. Because that would make it a “holiday” and it isn’t.