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The Surprise Party


By Primal Sneeze ~ January 23rd, 2009. Filed under: Crappenings, Friends, Occasions.

Crappenings

The invitation came hand-delivered. Nice touch.

“Session on for the Young Lad’s 40th in one of the sheds on the farm. Don’t tell him – it’s a surprise. Dress cood [sic] western style. And don’t bring drink – there’ll be loads.”

Grand, says I. I’ll go to that. It’ll make feel old what with the Young Lad hitting 40 and all, but shur it’ll be a guaranteed great craic.

Now, the dress cood [sic again]. What’ll I wear?

Got it! An Aran jumper, a báinín cap, turned-down wellies and in my arms a Barbie doll in a short skirt as a Galway Hooker. Can’t get more western than that, can you?

I suggested my mate Peadar not bother dressing up – after all, his son’s name is Aaron so he could just go as “the old man of Aaron”. He could go around and around and mime playing pool and point at a hole in the ground if anyone wanted a hint. He liked the idea.

Pat’s father’s anniversary was the same weekend so he’d be up from Cork. I rang him.

Well, says he, the father’s isn’t ’til next weekend. But, look – it’s the Young Lad’s 40th so I’ll come up. It won’t kill me to come up two weekends in a row. Now what’ll I wear?

Go mad, says I, do something out of the ordinary – blue jeans, Stetson, check shirt and boots.

The three of us met up at the pub. Early. Very early. We stayed a bit too long.

The whole place was in darkness when we arrived.

Christ!, said Peadar, he must be about to arrive. They’ve killed the lights. We’d better sneak in the back way so we’re there when he comes. Don’t want to tip him off and spoil it.

Now sneaking into a farm yard the back way involves climbing barbedwire fences and crossing muddy fields, but we did it.  A few scratches and mucky boots never hurt anyone. After all, there was loads of drink going according to the “documentation” as Peadar pointed out.

Either everyone was wearing black and being totally silent and motionless or we were alone.

We were alone. Not a sinner there.

I rang the Young Lad’s sister. No. Right. Grand. Just wondering.

Bollix, lads. Right date. Wrong month. It’s on in April. We’re three months early.

So we headed on back toward the pub.

Passing the church we met the Young Lad going in. Where are ye pair of eejits going in them rigouts?  And the three of yiz half cut. The state of yiz. Jayzez, Pat you’re not coming into your Daddy’s mass like that, are ya? The rest of them are in there already – they’ll murder ya if they see ya like that.

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Reader's Comments

  1. Grannymar | January 23rd, 2009 at 11:59 am

    I’m glad I didn’t get all down-dressed and go to that party!

    Reply
  2. Sniffle&Cry | January 23rd, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    Classic Primal. Brilliant.

    Reply
  3. aonghus | January 23rd, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    Classic.

    Did he survive?

    Reply
  4. Grannymar | January 23rd, 2009 at 3:31 pm

    If it was a non party, would that make it green!

    Reply
  5. TheChrisD | January 23rd, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    Well, you can never be too prepared, right?

    Reply
  6. savannah | January 24th, 2009 at 10:49 pm

    early for the party and late for the mass *sigh* sounds like something i’d do, sugar. xoxo

    Reply
  7. Conan Drumm | January 26th, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    Did you line dance anyway?

    Reply
  8. Conortje | January 28th, 2009 at 8:42 am

    Well you have to admit – it WAS a surprise!

    Reply
  9. paddyanglican | January 28th, 2009 at 9:04 pm

    Reminds me of the time Shane MacGowan gatecrashed one of my Confirmation classes in the parish church looking for a funeral – I soon redirected him up the road to my colleagues next door who had the necessary body but the class somehow lost its focus ;-) Thanks again for the Rogha nomination :-) Must go back to America – Seems to be where my Muse is hanging out!

    Reply
    • Primal Sneeze | January 29th, 2009 at 9:03 am

      Ah now that’s gas!

      Speaking of MacGowan and funerals, I’ve asked that his duet of Haunted with Sinéad O’Connor be played at mine: ” … I want to be haunted by the ghost … I want to be haunted by the ghost …”

      Reply
  10. EW | January 30th, 2009 at 7:12 pm

    Ha ha ha ha ha. (And ha.)

    So vivid, the climbing over the fences in the mud, ‘either everyone was wearing black and being totally silent and motionless’. Please, please tell me this is a true story.

    EW

    ps. Ha ha ha! lmao

    Reply

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