There are others. Since the recession began to kick in many, many more have sprung up and membership of existing ones have grown dramatically.

Business owners are reaching out for everything they can to stay afloat. I know one individual who is a member of no less than seven networks. With so many weekly meet-ups to attend it is beyond me how he gets any actual work done. Perhaps there is no work to do.

I draw a major distinction between organic and forced networking. It is the latter that has seen the greater growth in recent times.

Take a two-day course run by a county enterprise board or a weekend event like the upcoming WordCamp Ireland. There are interesting speakers, demonstrations and so on. The networking happens naturally during coffee breaks or over dinner/drinks. Attendees go to learn primarily and if business comes out of it that’s a bonus.

Take a sports club where members help each other out and share business. Passing on a lead is natural. It is being passed to a friend. A friend you made while having fun.

This is organic networking. If it happens well and good. If it doesn’t then nothing is lost – something has been learned or enjoyed. But when it does work it works very well and the bond that leads to repeat business is strong.

Forced networking takes many forms. There is the cabalistic structure of the Kildare Business Network where membership is restricted to one business per business sector. Likewise, Business Network International where not only may just one person from each professional classification or speciality join a chapter, but all the other members carry copies of your business cards around with them to hand out. It cannot be helped but read that as members are required to carry others’ cards. To me, a network that is restricted to the point of being incestuous is not a network at all.

There are the OpenCoffee Clubs, some of which work extremely well, with attendees hearing from speakers of interest and proving a platform for entrepreneurs to showcase their businesses. After all, that’s what the OpenCoffee Club was founded to do – it was started to encourage entrepreneurs, developers and investors to organise real-world informal meet-ups to chat, network and grow. In short. the OpenCoffee Club was founded for Internet developers.

Others purport to be part of the wider OpenCoffee Club network yet their purpose bears no semblance of the above. The Open Coffee Club (that’s Open Coffee not OpenCoffee) nearest me explain how it works: You come along, buy a coffee and have a chat. There is no charge to attend, no agenda, no speakers, no badges or formal networking – just a chance to meet some familiar and new faces. So it’s a coffee morning. Nothing else. A hijacking of the OpenCoffee brand to facilitate forced networking.

That said, at least the agenda is clear. You are there to pitch your business and nothing else. Unfortunately the realisation come quickly that you are pitching at the same faces time after time.

There is also a growing number of serial forced networking individuals. I know of some who repeatedly take the same courses and seminars to network at breaks with new faces.

Trying to hard and being too pushy and you will fail. A forced laugh is immediately spotted.

The same parallels of organic and forced can be made in online networking. All too often business people jump onto platforms like Twitter shouting about how great they and their business are and wonder why they are being ignored. I am often approached by such people: I don’t get this Twitter thing. How do I make money out of it? You don’t, is the short answer. But I was at a talk and your man from Blacknight was mentioned as a good example of an Irish businesses using Twitter. How does he make it work? He tells us about his cats, I reply, to stunned silence. And sometimes fixes things, I add.

See the difference? Forced networking is taking the bus solely to walk up and down the aisle introducing yourself and pitching your business to everyone. Organic networking is taking the bus because you need to get somewhere and happening to strike up a conversation with the person next to you that leads to new business. Update: If you still wish to take the former route and expect to attain spontaneous success I suggest you enlist the help of a “social media guru“.

Update 2: John Cradden writing in The Irish Times seems to be rather a fan of BNI. Either that or the Old Lady now accepts advertorials.

Late last year I was becoming increasingly frustrated with my hosting provider. I had been happy before then. More than happy. They were even hosting this blog for free! I know that wasn’t a great expense for them and not a great saving for me, but it was a nice touch and I appreciated it.

In mid-2008 the shared-hosting side of the business was sold and I found myself dealing with an organisation that didn’t come close to meeting my expectations.

Emails and tickets went unanswered for days; the online chat was killed; phone support meant calling a UK or 1890 number; charges were imposed for things other providers do for free. To phrase it in technical terms, I wasn’t a happy bunny. Nor were my customers.

So I did an Obama on it and proposed change. Yes we can, I said. Yes we can. Well, right so, they said. Whatever you like.

I decided on Blacknight. A decision, I admit, made easier by a discount for those moving host. So what! Business is business and any saving is welcome.

Before I even made the switch I was impressed with the service. Look, it’s December, I said, and it’s an expensive time of year. Any chance I can pay by month until February and annually from then on and what’s the process?

No problem, was the answer from the MD. You can do it yourself in our billing system whenever you’re ready.

I timed the move for the Christmas break when my customers would be off work and traffic would be low. That wasn’t a problem either – the support team would be there to handle tickets.

Having used the Blacknight interface only a few times before I ran into a few snags. I messed stuff up more than once.  The guys in live support answered by queries instantly, patiently and precisely. Online chats always ended with is there anything else I can help you with? Sound a bit smarmy? Not to me, because there usually was something else. On one occasion the support agent realised that if I’d had trouble with X then I may have with Y too and gave me a heads-up. Politely of course.

Around about the same time a co-location project landed on my desk. I requested a quotation from Blacknight and my previous host.

The following day, Christmas eve!, I got a quotation from Blacknight that included detailed explanations of their offering and the answers to the questions I had asked. It is March now and the other provider has yet to respond.

Yes, there have been problems. We are dealing with technology, and technology is not perfect. I accept that. Software will break. Hardware will break.

What I appreciate is not just the timely fixes, but that as a customer I am continually updated on the status. More often than not I am told of the problem before I notice there is one. Passing that information onto my own clients before they notice is a service they too appreciate. It makes me look good. Win-win.

I have been meaning to write this post for some time but it languished in drafts so long that I’d just about forgotten. What reminded me was a parcel that arrived this week – a brand spanking new Blacknight hoodie. It’s the dogz, I tell ya. Comfortable and cosy. The pics below don’t do it justice. (Click to enlarge them)

How I came to get it is a long story involving lots of cajoling, joking about and general ROTFLing. I didn’t get it for writing this plug-post – they don’t know I’m doing that.

The currency may have changed but the managers are the same – a shower of punts and bankers. In fact, they are worse now than they ever were.

All commentators (not you – you’re a commenter – I mean the analysts who get paid to comment) are predicting a wave of mergers and acquisitions within the banking sector, possibly with only the big two, AIB and BoI, remaining in Ireland.

Now if I were about to accquire something (like a pint) and you were to hit me up for a few quid I wouldn’t entertain you. No, because I’d be holding onto my money to make that purchase. Likewise, if I were about to be acquired by or merged with (say, with the hot chick over the road), I would want to appear solvent, if not wealthy – a good catch.

Either way, I’m not giving you a penny.

The Labour party will this week move a motion (that phrase always make me giggle) that the government take action to force the banks to ensure credit streams (that makes me giggle too, but not as much) be made available to small businesses. Of course it will be voted down – Cowen and co. are working on their own deal with the banks behind closed doors. The banks are saying “let’s get this merger and acquistion business out of the way before we dish out any credit” and Cowen is saying “well okay so, as long as you keep the big boys going – the builders have houses to sell”. “Grand. We’ll do a few mortgages then”.

Eugene Sheehy, madra mór in the AIB, said as much last week: The banks are “open for business” and trying to “get the housing market moving”, but that “funds are not available for working capital”.

He also said “it is not in anyone’s interest – either customers or banks – to lend money to people who cannot repay it”. Now that really makes me laugh – for fuck sake isn’t that just what he and the rest of the punts were doing these last ten years?

Small businesses are folding by the minute. Their customers can’t pay them. They, in turn, can’t pay their suppliers and they too fold.

Small businesses which have a viable market can’t raise the cash to buy the raw materials they need or pay the wages. And they fold. [See the case study below]

A special fund managed by the Europrean Investment Bank is available to the banks to support these customers specifically. But the banks are not availing of it. Why? Because then they would have loans on their books that they owe and loans that they are owed. They would not appear attractive to a suitor, nor, as the suitor, would they appear an attractive bedfellow to the object of their advances.

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Case Study

Jack and Mary have worked for the same small company for some five years now. One day, Mary suspects something is up when she notices the boss staring at her through the window of his office.

He calls her in.

“Mary”, he says, “I don’t know any other way to put this. The situation is killing me. I can’t go on like this any longer.

I going to have to lay you or Jack off”.

“Is that all?”, replies Mary. “I thought for minute I was sacked. Here, take one of my tissues. I’ll wait outside”.

More than a year ago when my then broadband provider was stuck in a legal quagmire I anticipated they were about to go out of business and signed up with Digiweb. There was a 20 day waiting list. The provider did indeed pull the plug. I called Digiweb and explained my predicament. They promised to do their best to have me connected in 6 days. Imagine how pleased I was when a Digiweb engineer arrived the following day!

In my rush to get back online I messed up the settings on my side but assumed the problem was with Digiweb. A service agent calmly explained what I needed to do and offered his direct number should I need help again.

Twice I had queries about my bill and they fixed the errors (one of which was my fault) instantly.

I can’t remember when things began to slip but I think it was around the time they began phoning me making offers. VoIP; increased bandwidth; hosting; and so on.

The invoice that used arrive like clockwork on the 16th of the month for payment on the 24th, began to come later and later, and the direct debit would hit my bank account at any time. There was simply no pattern.

This month I received no invoice at all, yet the equivalent of two months charges were taken from my account on the 4th. In the week since they have neither explained this, forwarded the invoice, refunded my money nor even acknowledged my query.

They are quite good at sending mail inviting me to their events or promoting their hosting or 60-minute-web-building offerings. The latter is in partnership with Omniserve, so that would be a thanks, but no thanks!

The last mail I got from them is the one that annoys me most. They had great news for me. My bandwidth had been increased from 6Mb to 8Mb. What fantastic news!!! Well not really …

• It actually hasn’t increased. I have been using the excellent speed test tool from Blacknight to monitor it and it hasn’t budged from an average 5.85Mb for months. A fine figure for a product offered as “up to 6Mb” but not for an 8Mb one.
• The cost has gone from €34.95/month to €39.95. €39.95 is what they were already selling the 8Mb service for. The 6Mb service no longer exists. I have no option to remain as I was. I could downgrade to 5Mb at €34.95 but I would being losing 1Mb.
• As a “valued existing customer”, the price increase will not be applied until “year end”. It is not clear if “year end” means the December or January billing period.
• This was not an email to all customers announcing a policy change or an alteration in billing practices. It was a newsletter. A newsletter a customer can opt not to receive. So those who decided against getting these newsletters will not be aware of the changes being applied until they receive a larger than normal bill. (If they do get the bill, that is. See above).

This, to me is all wrong. This is not the way to treat customers. This is not the way to do business.

Here on Roundworld, many companies have learned the true value of old fashioned post over new technologies. Not only can it achieve things that tech can’t (try emailing an elephant), but its components have value in their own right. In Ankh-Morpork a small number of stamps produced with an intentional flaw saw their face value of 1 Ankh-Morpork penny rise to many dollars as a collector’s item. While businesses may not engage in stamp collecting they do harness the value of the postal system in other ways.

A friend of mine buys trinkets from a home-based jewellery maker in Hong Kong. Never is a single piece valued at more than €1. These she used give as token gifts to not-so-best-girlfriends and colleagues. (It’s a woman thing. Men buy each other pints). Some of these not-so-best-girlfriends and colleagues got to like the pieces so much that they ask her for more. She obliges. At €5 a pop.

So where does Lucy Lu in Hong Kong make her cut? In postage. A 100g packet to Ireland costs HK$5.60 surface of HK$11.10 air. Lucy charges €4 and €7.50 respectively. The exchange rate runs at around HK$10 to the euro so you can see the mark-up.

It’s a win-win for both my friend and Ms Lu. Both make a decent margin.

Recently I began playing around with VistaPrint, the online print service. But I was never 100% happy with the layouts I created and invariably clicked the “save for later” button. I’d return a few days later, dislike them even more, delete them and make new ones. Still not happy.

Then VistPrint began emailing me offers. Business cards now 25% off. Personalised Christmas cards – 10 for free. Monogrammed Koala bears now only €2.99. That kind of thing.

As time went on, the offers got better. The latest offered just about everything for free or near enough. The world. Oysters. You name it. I guess they knew I was interested, just needing a push and I’d be hooked, but how in the name of the mother of the six sniffling infants were they to make money giving me a planet, exotic bears and seafood for free?

I capitulated and ordered something small. In the interests of checking the quality of their work I told myself. In the interests of getting stuff for only €1.99 I didn’t tell myself.

I got out pen and paper Open Office Calc and did some Calcing. Having worked in digital print I know €1.99 is a fair price for the item ordered and quantity given the customer was providing the artwork. Last week I posted a DVD in a Jiffy bag (about the same weight as the item and the packaging I expect it to be delivered in) for 55c.

The postage being charged by VistaPrint? €5.69. And that’s not HK$5.69, it’s real money.

The bottom line is that blogging will be slight over the next few weeks while I get my mailorder business off the ground.