When Moist von Lipwig took on the might of the Grand Trunk Clacks line his Postal System came out on top. Here on Roundworld, many companies have learned the true value of old fashioned post over new technologies. Not only can it achieve things that tech can’t (try emailing an elephant), but its components have [...]
Bzzz … bzzz … bzzz … bzzz … bzzz goes the phone. Answer the fekin thing … answer the fekin thing … answer the fekin thing goes The Sneeze. Bzzz … bzzz … bzzz … bzzz … bzzz goes the phone. Bzzz … bzzz … Department of Vegetation, good morning goes the woman in her [...]
I don’t know much about Pharisees. Maybe they’re the folks that make the telescopes. But as a stereotypical Irish male, I know all there is to know about Publicans. Stingy robbing bastards the lot of them[no citation needed]. The bastard that owns my local has rubber pockets in his jeans for robbing soup. Down through [...]
Back in the 80s things were tough. Times were rotten and Robin Hood was a state-of-the-art industrial estate. Christy Moore sang Peter Hames’ Ordinary Man and stirred anger in us all. Countless thousands were unemployed. That’s not totally correct – they were indeed counted. Counted and parsed by gender, age, education, you name it. They [...]
Ireland is in recession the media tell us. The ESRI, the body the media get their economic information from, tell us Ireland can expect to be in recession by some stage this year. I’m taking no chances. As a good citizen I will be doing my bit for the recession. Starting today I will do [...]
There are a great many unsolved mysteries in this world, such as why cornflakes taste better with a soup spoon and why the phrase “soft underbelly of a Ford Transit” never made is past the editors of Homer’s second novel, The Little Lad. Such things trouble me deeply and keep me awake all day. Why [...]
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